Tag: demons
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When They Cry, Season 1 – Episodes 1 – 4
Let’s try something a little different. Disney+’s release schedule for new shows is pretty tight, with episodes releasing weekly followed by a making-of documentary and kicking off with a new series the week after. For the time being I’m going to skip the Star Wars shows, but that still means that the majority of these Saturday posts will be tied up with the MCU, not leaving much time for anything else. Well, I’m instituting a new policy for the blog: when I’m in the middle of reviewing the latest MCU show on Saturdays, a completely different show’s posts will go…
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The New Mutants (2020)
Full disclosure, I was one of those people who believed that this movie was never going to be released. Originally slated to be released in April 2018, it was delayed four or five times because of things like the Fox/Disney merger and reshoots to change the entire tone. Like you do. In the end it released to an extremely limited theater run in August 2020, and was made widely available for [legal] streaming yesterday. As the last 20th Century Studios X-Men adjacent film–ending a 20 year franchise–was it worth the wait? Well…
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The Monster Project (2017)
I want to give this movie some credit: while a lot of found footage movies are incredibly cheap, The Monster Project had a budget for its monsters. I’ve absolutely seen worse effects in other movies, and the creatures here didn’t look like ass. The problem is that this movie is really, really proud of its monsters. It takes every opportunity–once things kick off at the halfway point–to show you them in action. But that becomes a problem, because the more you see clear shots of a creature, the less frightening it becomes. We become inured to it and can grow…
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Hereditary (2018)
I count myself lucky that my family isn’t too crazy. Sure, we have members like “the one who’s always drunk,” but things could definitely be worse. Like, oh, for example, my mother didn’t have dissociative identity disorder and then died in hospice care, my father didn’t die from self-inflicted starvation, and my (nonexistent) brother didn’t suffer from schizophrenia before hanging himself! Oh, and I also don’t have a tense relationship with my (also nonexistent) children because one time I almost burned them alive while sleepwalking. Man, wouldn’t it suck to have that kind of baggage!
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Children of the Corn (1984)
Welcome to October of the Corn! That’s right, the same guy who skipped the X-Men: First Class movies because he was sick of franchises is jumping straight into another one right after Mummy Mondays ended. I have to do something productive with all these DVDs that I own, right? So suffer with me, because for the next 10 Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays (with one exception late in the month), we’re going to talk about no one’s favorite horror franchise. Fun!
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Mandy (2018)
Man, remember when I used to talk about good movies? I don’t! According to my lovely archives, the last movie I talked about that was generally considered “good” was last month. Watching two weeks of Mothman movies does horrible things to a person, so I need to take a break from the suck. So let’s talk about Mr. Nic Cage killing a cult while high on megadrugs!
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Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)
You know what actor I absolutely love? Mr. Billy Zane. I think most people who recognize that name will know him as the bad guy from Titanic first, maybe as one of the guys in Biff’s gang in Back to the Future, and rarely as the titular hero in The Phantom. Hell, he even has a random cameo at the end of the lame Holmes & Watson as himself. But for me, my favorite performance of his will always be Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight.
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Lo (2009)
Look, I absolutely can talk about Batman non-stop for weeks on end, but for both our sakes I’d rather not. I still have several movies I own that I want to talk about, so that means the occasional break in the three or four weeks I’m going to be focusing on this particular superhero. So instead of something related like The Shadow, we have Lo.
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The Curse of King Tut, Part 2 (2006)
Man, I hope when this aired on the Hallmark Channel that they included a “previously on” montage, because the version I watched jumps right into the second half with no explanation. It might as well have been a commercial break instead of “to be continued” and credits. Who knows, maybe it was shown like that. I don’t care enough to look it up. Casper Van Dien has already taken up enough of my time.
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The Curse of King Tut, Part 1 (2006)
Oh my god, why is this movie 3 hours long?? It’s a Hallmark original movie, for fuck’s sake! I refuse to sit though all of this in one sitting, so just like Hallmark Channel did, I’m breaking this up into two parts. Because all the best movies–and reviews–end with “to be continued.”
Chwineka Watches 