Category: Reviews
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Godzilla (2014)
I can’t do anything easily, can I? I’m already a month late to reviewing Godzilla vs. Kong, and yet I feel the need to start at the beginning of the so-called MonsterVerse cinematic universe with 2014’s Godzilla, AKA the one I think is the least good. I mean, it’s not the worst Godzilla movie ever–I hate you so much, Gabara and will NEVER forgive you for existing–but of the four films in this new franchise, it’s the weakest, in part because it shows as little of Godzilla as possible.
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Ghost Shark (2013)
Oh, I’m sorry, did you think I was kidding at the end of the Tsunambee post when I said I was going to watch Ghost Shark next? I own a physical copy of the damn thing! Sometime in the middle of quarantine (time has been rendered meaningless) I picked up a DVD multipack of shark movies that also included one alligator film because…? Anyway, when’s Shark Week? Sometime in July or August? Well don’t be surprised if I celebrate by watching Mississippi River Sharks, Ozark Sharks, Santa Jaws, Radioactive Sewer Sharks, Swamp Shark, and/or Zombie Shark. I also made up…
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Tsunambee (2015)
Who doesn’t love a good bad disaster movie? You don’t go into Sharknado expecting fine cinema, you go in hoping that a guy cuts a shark in half with a chainsaw, and that said shark was delivered to him via tornado. So imagine how excited I was when I first saw a film called Tsunambee. The tagline on the poster is “This is gonna sting a little!” It’s a goofy movie about a tsunami of bees, right? Right…?
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The Falcon and the Winter Soldier – Season 1, Episode 6
With only 6 episodes, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier feels much shorter compared to WandaVision, even though the actual difference in their combined length is about an hour. But man, we went through an emotional roller coaster throughout the series, especially in the season finale. Will there be a season two? Let’s dive into the final episode, “One World, One People,” and talk about that!
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#Horror (2015)
I know I keep talking about it, but The Room is one of my favorite bad movies. Sure, it’s awful in just about every way you would judge a film, but the whole thing is so bad it wraps back around to being enjoyable. It’s a movie you want to watch with friends. #Horror, however, is bad in an exhausting way. It’s not fun, it’s not funny, and it’s a chore to get through.
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Beginners (2010)
It’s that time again! The list of movies I’ve mentioned–but haven’t reviewed on the blog–is getting larger and larger, and I feel this equally large sense of shame at not chipping away at it. So let’s roll the digital equivalent of a 312-sided die and see what we get! And today’s movie is… nope, I said no more superhero movies this month, so let’s reroll. Trying again… we get Beginners? A vaguely queer, indie romantic “comedy” starring Mr. Christopher Plummer and Ewan McGregor? How the fuck did that get on the list again? Ah, right, I watched The Conspiracy of…
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When They Cry, Season 1 – Episodes 16 – 21
The first four chapters in Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, AKA When They Cry, are referred to as “question arcs.” I think it’s a great name because I have a whole bunch of questions as to what the fuck is going on. But now we’ve entered the so-called “answers arcs.” I went into the Eye Opening arc completely unprepared for what I was about to see and learn, thinking it was going to follow the pattern I had assumed was there based on the question arcs. Is every question answered? Absolutely not, but I learned enough new things that I…
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The Falcon and the Winter Soldier – Season 1, Episode 5
This week’s episode of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is a bit more laid back than the rest of the series with some frank discussions about America’s institutionalized racism, so I could see how some people would not like it. They’re wrong, but still. We get a lot of character development as well as a new character who has a… complicated history in the comics. So let’s get straight to it and talk about the fifth episode, “Truth.”
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Almighty Thor (2011)
I’ve talked about this before, but The Asylum is a film company known for ridiculous movies like Sharknado and a ridiculous amount of knock-offs. Mockbusters, if you will. Back in 2005, Blockbuster–remember when that was relevant?–accidentally ordered 100,000 copies of HG Wells’ War of the Worlds instead of the Stephen Spielberg film that came out the same year, War of the Worlds. From there the company just went wild, creating knockoffs like Atlantic Rim, Sunday School Musical, and in this particular case, Almight Thor to go up against Marvel’s Thor. The God of Thunder is technically in the public domain,…
Chwineka Watches 