-
The Gorilla (1939)
Back what seems like a thousand years ago, my first job had dirt cheap DVD packs that I absolutely needed to buy. Were they anything good? Typically no. These packs included things like the Prey of the Jaguar and The Conspiracy of Fear two-pack that I’ve already talked about here. One such pack was a “Horror Classic” pack of 5 movies featuring the legendary Mr. Bela Lugosi. So things like 1931’s Dracula or even Plan 9 from Outer Space? Uh… no. More like his utterly forgotten films that fell into the public domain like The Devil Bat and today’s film,…
-
Hellraiser: Inferno (2000)
Whoa! We’re halfway there! The Hellbound Halloween continues with the fifth movie in the Hellraiser franchise, Hellraiser: Inferno. This is the first film in the series not to be released in theaters, and also the first where it’s really, really obvious that this was originally an unrelated script before the cenobites were tacked on. As a result the execution is… polarizing. It’s a very strange movie, but I think I can safely say it’s the best Silent Hill film yet!
-
What If…? – Season 1, Episode 9
So you might notice that I have not ascended to godhood. While I did correctly guess that What If…?’s eighth episode would be titled “What If Ultron Won?” I was wrong about the title of the final episode. It’s actually titled “What If the Watcher Broke His Oath?” which is definitely a better title, so I’ll take that loss. Everything in the first season has been leading up to this moment, as well as something in the second season! Let’s wrap this up!
-
Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996)
Welcome back to the Hellbound Halloween! Today’s entry is the fourth film in the Hellraiser franchise, Hellraiser: Bloodline. Man, we’re making good time with all this–four down and only six more to go. At this rate I’ll be done well before October is over! Hm, if only I had planned for that eventuality and had some tricks up my sleeve… Anyway, let’s talk about a film directed by Alan Smithee. Oh, that’s never a good sign.
-
Paranormal Sexperiments (2016)
I fully know that I have no one to blame for this but me. I went down a weird rabbit hole on Tubi and found a horror porno called Haunted Hellcats, but IMDB had never heard of it. It had heard of Paranormal Sexperiments with the same cast and crew, as did Amazon dot com. But both the Amazon and Tubi versions were too short to be the full movie, and a couple minutes into the Tubi version–like hell am I going to give Amazon any of my money over porn for straight men–it was clear that it was heavily…
-
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)
I’ve seen all ten Hellraiser movies before, but most of them were a long time ago. I remembered the first two adhering to Mr. Clive Barker’s vision and being pretty good, the last two were absolute dog shit, and the ones in the middle were hit or miss. So I went into Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth not expecting much. They’re brining back Pinhead after his noble sacrifice in Hellbound: Hellraiser II? Already starting on a bad foot. But turns out this was better than I remember, in part because it has something intersting to say about abusive relationships.
-
The Lodge (2019)
The Lodge was one of the movies that I was super excited to watch and it just… somehow passed me by. No local theaters were showing it back in early 2019 and by the time I got the motivation to travel to see it, it had disappeared from all theaters. So this one has been on my to-watch list for a while, and I figured a month dedicated to horror movies would be the perfect time! Which makes it such a shame that I really didn’t like it.
-
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
The Hellbound Halloween continues! It’s a reference to The Hellbound Heart, the story by Mr. Clive Barker that Hellraiser is based on, by the way. This is the last film in the franchise that Barker had a direct hand in, which is a little concerning since it’s only the second film. Yup, from here on out the quality steadily decreases–although I remember Hellraiser: Inferno being decent–until we hit the bottom of the barrel with the last two. But that’s something we’ll touch on later in the month; right now let’s end Julia’s reign of evil!
-
What If…? – Season 1, Episode 8
I fuckin’ called it! Hell yeah! Sure, we all pretty much knew what this episode would be about, but I got the title exactly right! Granted, the number of titles it could’ve had was limited. But still! “What If Ultron Won?” is the name of this episode, and I got it exactly right last time. Now, if next week’s finale is titled “What If It Took a Multiverse to Save the Multiverse?” then I shall transcend the mortal plane and become a god.
-
Hellraiser (1987)
Happy Halloween… month! It’s October, which basically means it’s already Halloween. It also means it’s time to whip out my annual “review a horror movie each weekday while also covering a big horror franchise” event! This is a spiritual successor to “Chwineka Watches 31 Netflix Horror Movies for October” (or CW31NHMO for short), so don’t expect a concise name for the idea as a whole from me. Anywho, the second annual event is The Hellbound Halloween, where I cover all 10 currently released Hellraiser movies and a few more morsels from Mr. Clive Barker. So let’s dive into what’s probably…
Chwineka Watches
The dead speak!
Chwineka Watches 