Tag: possession
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Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)
It’s time to rip the bandage off–Exorcist II: The Heretic is probably the worst movie I’m going to watch as part of Paranormal Octoberty. I mean, Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin sure could surprise me, but this is an infamously bad sequel. And it features Mr. James Earl Jones, who sadly died recently. This flick is the first thing I’ve seen him in since his passing, so this is apparently how I’m honoring his life! What a fucking waste.
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Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)
Look, I’m not going to say that Paranormal Activity 2 is a bad movie. It’s fine, 5 out of 10. I just think it’s the start of a slippery slope for the franchise. The first Paranormal Activity–which I covered last week as part of Paranormal Octoberty, hi, gotta throw a plug for the event into every intro paragraph, yes–was a decent stand-alone horror film with hints at something larger. But 2 really starts to dive deep into the lore of Katie and her family, and it’s not always great. I mean, we’re not at time traveling witches yet, but I…
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The Exorcist (1973)
I really hope you didn’t believe that I didn’t have a plan to fill out the 6 Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays left over after covering the 7 Paranormal Activity movies… The Exorcist and it’s 5(ish) sequels fit right into Paranormal Octoberty! Both franchises are about demons preying on humanity, but take different journeys on how that manifests. Plus it gives me a chance to review both a horror classic–this one–and also what a number of people argue is one of the worst horror movies ever made–Exorcist II: The Heretic. Is that really how I’m going to honor the recent death…
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Paranormal Activity (2009)
Happy Halloween… month! It’s that time of year where the evils of living in a world where skeletons and pumpkins aren’t common decorations are exorcized from my body and I go from a shriveled, cobweb-covered husk of a man to a halfway functioning person; think King Theoden in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Anyway, it’s time for my annual horror event, and this year it’s Paranormal Octoberty, highlighting a month of ghosts and/or demonic possession. What, you thought I’d review something more mainstream like Halloween? Oh, you sweet summer child, why would I review that franchise in October?…
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Amityville Hex (2021)
Have you ever seen a movie that haunted you so much that you just had to sit down at your computer and write a post about it, despite still technically being on a hiatus? No? Just me? Then I guess you haven’t seen Amityville Hex, a movie that I’ll either forget next week or will remember until the day I die. There is no in-between.
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Under ConTroll (2019)
There are two types of bad movies–okay, there are way more than that, but just go with me on this. The two types are movies made sincerely, and those that are not. The Room is a masterpiece of bad cinema because Mr. Tommy Wiseau really, truly thought he was making art. But all the Scary Movie films and their spin-offs were made to be intentionally bad, and they end up being bad in a different, less enjoyable way. So which is Under ConTroll, the German sequel to Troll 2? Well there’s nothing sincere about this movie, so that’s telling.
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Paranormal Sexperiments (2016)
I fully know that I have no one to blame for this but me. I went down a weird rabbit hole on Tubi and found a horror porno called Haunted Hellcats, but IMDB had never heard of it. It had heard of Paranormal Sexperiments with the same cast and crew, as did Amazon dot com. But both the Amazon and Tubi versions were too short to be the full movie, and a couple minutes into the Tubi version–like hell am I going to give Amazon any of my money over porn for straight men–it was clear that it was heavily…
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Malignant (2021)
Look, I don’t want to pat myself on the back too much. This blog already is a bit of an ego trip, but I’m just a normal guy. I put my pants on one trite quote at a time. However, after hearing that the twist in Malignant was supposed to be completely surprising, I figured it out in something like 20 minutes. What, like it’s hard?
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The Suicide Squad (2021)
So my plan was to see The Suicide Squad in theaters. I had some friends lined up, we had the date all planned out, then a COVID scare dashed all our plans. This is the unfortunate world we live in, highlighted also in the fact that this fun movie is considered a box office bomb during its second week because a majority of people don’t feel safe in a theater yet. I’m not sure what movies are actually thriving right now, but maybe new metrics will be needed to judge movies during this post-pandemic pandemic. Where was I? Right, The…
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Revolutionary Girl Utena – Season 1, Episodes 1-3
Okay, so this one might need a little explaining. I am a “geriatric millennial,” a term I saw once and cannot get out of my head, which in this case means I was on the internet back in the heyday of anime music videos, or AMVs. People would take anime clips and cut them together with a song and at the time it was high art. One AMV that stuck with me was Kusoyaro mashing up Bjork’s “Bachlorette” with the film Shōjo Kakumei Utena Aduresensu Mokushiroku, AKA Revolutionary Girl Utena: Adolescence of Utena. It’s my favorite AMV and the reason…
Chwineka Watches 