Tag: family matters
“I don’t have friends, I got family.”
-Furious 7 (2015)
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Santa Jaws (2018)
Ho ho ho! Merry December! That’s right, the guy who hisses like a frightened possum when he hears Christmas music before Thanksgiving is setting up another month dedicated to winter-themed holiday movies. But I’m not dedicating the entire month to it, as The Cabinet of Caligari and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari remake indicate. Anyway, remember that poorly planned Shark Week I did back in August? It was an excuse to cover most of the films on the “Shark Bait: 6 Killer Shark Films” DVD pack I picked up during quarantine. I had previously covered Ghost Shark, but that week…
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Hawkeye – Season 1, Episode 3
Another week means another episode of Hawkeye, the latest Disney+ Marvel Cinematic Universe show. Last time, Hawkeye (Clint Barton) and Hawkeye (Kate Bishop) indulged their disaster-prone tendencies while trying to get back a costume he murdered a bunch of people in (Clint) and trying to find out if your future step-dad, Jack Duquesne, is a murderer (Kate). The ended up getting captured by the Tracksuit Mafia, which is led by… well, let’s dive into who is Maya Lopez (Ms. Alaqua Cox).
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Hawkeye – Season 1, Episodes 1-2
We’re back, baby! Did you miss me? Don’t answer that. After taking a week off, Chwineka Watches is back to cover not one, but two episodes of Hawkeye, the newest Disney+ Marvel Cinematic Universe show! Set after Avengers: Endgame, the series sees the titular Hawkeye, Clint Barton (Mr. Jeremy Renner), seemingly having put his superhero life behind him, only to get wrapped up in a murder mystery thanks to the titular Hawkeye, Kate Bishop (Hailee Steinfeld), his biggest fan. Yes, even Hawkeye has fans. I really like Green Arrow–the DC Comics archer superhero–so it can happen.
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House (1977)
As I said in the Eraserhead post, I watched a double feature of films made in 1977 by first-time directors that were surreal as all hell and part of the Criterion Collection. How very specific, but that applies to Eraserhead just as much as Hausu, AKA House. Director Mr. Nobuhiko Obayashi had previously worked on commercials, and that comes across in how bizarre and at times episodic the film feels.
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Boo! (2018)
Did I not actually watch any movies over October that took place on Halloween? Is this really the first movie to have the “Halloween” tag? Huh. Anyway, my Movie Night group tends to watch horror movies, so it was inevitable that I’d watch a Halloween movie outside of October. I guess next year I’ll try to add a few more seasonally themed horror movies to my list; but enough about plans 11 months out. Let’s talk about Boo!, a lackluster horror flick. Happy belated Halloween!
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Hellraiser: Revelations (2011)
Film rights are a can of worms. They are the reason the Marvel Cinematic Universe was created without mutants, despite the Avengers and X-Men both being owned by Marvel. It’s also partially why Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch are no longer Magneto’s children (as of time of writing, the Trial of Magneto may have a weird ending). Whenever you hear about film rights, it’s typically never a good sign. That’s the case with Hellraiser: Revelations, a rushed entry in the Hellraiser franchise made so Dimension could keep the film rights. The Hellbound Halloween has hit its lowest point. This is…
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CORN (2021)
I can understand the logic behind wanting to make a knockoff movie. Something is popular, so some would want to get on the bandwagon before interest dies down. But CORN is just… confusing. Sure, there’s the 2020 Children of the Corn prequel/reboot, but apparently only 10 people saw it and I’m not sure if it will ever have a digital release (trust me, I’ve spent a lot of time looking into it). And as I have said multiple times, Children of the Corn is nobody’s favorite horror franchise. But it’s okay! Because CORN’s plot has absolutely nothing to do with…
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The Lodge (2019)
The Lodge was one of the movies that I was super excited to watch and it just… somehow passed me by. No local theaters were showing it back in early 2019 and by the time I got the motivation to travel to see it, it had disappeared from all theaters. So this one has been on my to-watch list for a while, and I figured a month dedicated to horror movies would be the perfect time! Which makes it such a shame that I really didn’t like it.
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Hellraiser (1987)
Happy Halloween… month! It’s October, which basically means it’s already Halloween. It also means it’s time to whip out my annual “review a horror movie each weekday while also covering a big horror franchise” event! This is a spiritual successor to “Chwineka Watches 31 Netflix Horror Movies for October” (or CW31NHMO for short), so don’t expect a concise name for the idea as a whole from me. Anywho, the second annual event is The Hellbound Halloween, where I cover all 10 currently released Hellraiser movies and a few more morsels from Mr. Clive Barker. So let’s dive into what’s probably…
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Cool as Ice (1991)
Mr. Vanilla Ice was never actually cool, right? All I really know about him is that he did “Ninja Rap” for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, he copied the baseline in “Ice Ice Baby” from Queen’s “Under Pressure,” and he has an enormous dick. Allegedly. I think he’s more meme than man today, but was he ever actually popular to the masses? Apparently not movie audiences if the failure of Cool as Ice is any indication.
Chwineka Watches 