Category: Reviews
-
Stranger by the Lake (2013)
Social distancing has kept my friends at arm’s length (and you should be social distancing as well so we can be done with this virus bullshit AND ACTUALLY SEE OUR FRIENDS AGAIN!), but through the power of the internet I’ve been able to watch some movies with the gang. One of such movie was L’Inconnu […]
-
Big Man on Campus (1989)
There are two wolves inside of me: The first wolf tells me that if I were to talk about more mainstream and/or recognizable movies, viewer count and interest in in this blog would improve. The other wolf says, “Hey, wasn’t it weird that the female lead in Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror was in basically nothing? Well turns out her film debut was in a thing called Big Man on Campus where a hunchback goes to college. That sounds weird!” I think by this point we know which wolf I feed, even to my detriment.
-
Mr. Right (2015)
I want to get something out of the way before we begin: No, Ian, this is not a sequel to 1996’s Mr. Wrong, a film where a still closeted Ms. Ellen DeGeneres has to fend off the stalker Bill Pullman. I see what you did there, but no. What this movie is instead is… weird. Like, at the time of writing I don’t have a “quirky” tag for the blog, but after this I’m giving it some seriously consideration.
-
Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical (2005)
Last time I talked about Reefer Madness, AKA Tell Your Children, so me talking about the parody right after shouldn’t be a surprise. I mean, I flat out said it at the end, but anyway. Based on the 1998 stage musical, Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical was a Showtime original movie with a truly ridiculous cast. Mr. Alan Cumming (Nightcrawler in X2) as the narrator! And he was also FDR! Kristen Bell as Mary! Steven Weber as Jack, Anna Gasteyer as Mae, and John Kassir (AKA the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt, including Tales from the Crypt: Demon…
-
Reefer Madness (1938)
Do you know someone held captive in the seductive grip of marijuana? Sorry, I mean, “marihuana?” If so, you must do everything in your power to help your friend see the light before they’re driven to mindless violence! And if that person happens to be you, then God have mercy on your soul… Or so Reefer Madness, AKA Tell Your Children would have you believe. Man, the makers of this film sound really uptight; if only there were a recreational substance that could help them relax…
-
Are We Not Cats (2018)
I’ve been sitting on this one for a little while. I watched it during October when I was only doing horror movies, thinking that the “horror” label I saw on several sites was accurate. I don’t know if it really counts as a “horror” so much as a “thriller,” but I was certainly horrified watching it. Mostly it’s a bunch of “body horror.” So here it is, ready for November. And it’s… oof.
-
The Descent (2005)
Surprise, bitches! I don’t know why I said that, you are lovely readers and I treasure each and every one of you. Anyway, this is a super extra bonus post! Did you really think that I would end October on a meh film like Children of the Corn: Runaway? Hell no! I saved my favorite horror movie of all time for a special Saturday/Halloween post! At least that’s the excuse as to why I waited 10 months to talk about The Descent.
-
Children of the Corn: Runaway (2018)
And here we are at last: October of the Corn has reached the final movie of the Children of the Corn franchise. I mean, at least for now as even coronavirus apparently can’t stop the upcoming reboot. But Children of the Corn: Runaway is an interesting one as it’s a sequel to 2009’s Children of the Corn made-for-TV reboot, but made after Children of the Corn: Genesis, which by all accounts appears to be in the original continuity. Then again, if Scorpion King: Book of Souls can come out after Tom Cruise rebooted The Mummy, the sky’s the limit! Enough…
-
The Craft: Legacy (2020)
Alright! A day late, but we’re here! The long-awaited sequel to The Craft! I’m sure somebody wanted this, right? Anyway, 24 years later we have a… sequel? Soft reboot? An Evil Dead 2 of a movie. But how is it? Is this a movie that needed to be made? I’ll get to that eventually.
-
The Covenant (2017)
CONTENT WARNING: INCEST SO THAT’S NOW A TAG ON THIS BLOG… So… um… As I mentioned yesterday, this was supposed to be a post talking about the newly released The Craft: Legacy. But despite Amazon saying it had a release date of October 27th, the movie did not manifest in time. I hope to have […]
Chwineka Watches 