The Covenant (2017)



So… um… As I mentioned yesterday, this was supposed to be a post talking about the newly released The Craft: Legacy. But despite Amazon saying it had a release date of October 27th, the movie did not manifest in time. I hope to have that review up tomorrow (please don’t dick me over again, Blumhouse), but that left the question of what do I post today? It’s a small matter of pride that I’ve never missed a day on this blog so it had to be something. So what’s close to The Craft? Well there’s The Covenant, which is basically “what if The Craft was about boys and really homoerotic?” Unfortunately, after preordering Legacy I didn’t want to spend any more money on getting 2006’s The Covenant. But you know what’s free on Tubi? 2017’s The Covenant! So, uh… let’s talk about that!

Sarah’s life is pretty shit after her daughter dies of leukemia and her husband kills himself, saying it was Sarah’s fault. She moves back into her parents’ house with her brother (who looks like a poor man’s Ted Raimi), but spooky stuff starts up pretty quickly. Sarah’s targeted by Belial because it turns out she actually drowned her daughter before cancer could take her; trust me, that’s the least of the “yikes” in this movie. So Sarah’s possessed and through a demonic illusion she gets knocked up by her brother. Gross. The baby develops quickly and an exorcism is attempted by a young priest and… his assistant? His boyfriend? A young priest and another man. The house collapses as the exorcism reaches its climax and Sarah gives birth, but no bodies were found (well, one body of the neighbor lady, but she doesn’t matter). The priest and his friend fear the worst, and that fear is valid when we see Sarah, her brother, and their incest baby alive and well. The sibling even kiss on the lips before the movie ends. GROSS!

Oh, and there’s also some sinister guy in a suit that looks like a poor man’s Doug Bradley, AKA Pinhead. And the credits say the prostitute the brother thought he was fucking was named Lilith? Sigh.

So… hopefully not a controversial take but I am not a fan of incest. Sure, there’s not a Lannister amount of incest here, but it’s enough that I felt uncomfortable. Add in that the director appears to be the brother of Sarah’s brother’s actor and that the brothers are 2/3rds of the credited writers, and that adds an extra uncomfortable familial layer to this. Like, I know there’s a difference since they’re both male, but wouldn’t it feel weird to write a horror movie with incest as a key plot point with your sibling?

Oh, and the movie was bad. Not sure if that really needed to be clarified, but there you go.

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