A Recipe for Seduction (2020)

We’re taking a short break from non-stop Christmas movies to review something special. This is a first on two fronts for this blog: the first review of a short film and the first review of a commercial. That’s right, Lifetime and KFC partnered up to create A Recipe for Seduction, a living, breathing meme. And how could I not review it? It’s just a few steps away from a televised Chuck Tingle adaptation, or a Super Bowl commercial actually making use of its budget. And it stars Mr. Mario Lopez as Harland Sanders? I’m delighted and intrigued!

Lovely Jessica refuses Billy’s public dinner proposal, enraging him and her mother, Bunny. Around the same time chef Harland Sanders shows up–again, played by Mario Lopez with grayed hair and the Colonel’s signature facial hair–and Jessica quickly falls for him. Bunny schemes with Billy to get rid of Harland and we find out the two have also had a sinister, sexual relationship. Ew. But Jessica’s black gay best friend overhears the scheming and tries to warn her. He’s knocked out by the mom, and Billy threatens Harland. Some malicious miscommunication later, and Jessica finds Billy and Bunny standing over a tied up Harland. The black gay best friend stops Billy, Jessica knocks out her mom, and the day is saved. One year later Harland and Jessica get married. Meanwhile, Jessica’s mom is in a “health and wellness facility” when Billy shows up, both of them looking worse for wear. There’s a setup for a potential sequel that will never happen, and then the whole thing is over in about 15 minutes.

In donning the persona of Colonel Sanders, Mario Lopez has joined the likes of wrestler Dolph Ziggler, Billy Zane, Rob Lowe, Reba McEntire, and… RoboCop?! The actual Peter Weller, in RoboCop costume accentuated with wig, glasses, and iconic facial hair? What a world we live in.

Did you know that in addition to this short film, KFC has a promotion going on? You didn’t? Well that’s because they only time I saw any mention of it was in the announcement articles. I watched A Recipe for Disaster as it aired on Lifetime, and there was no mention before or after about any chicken-based promotion. Hell, if you miss the opening credits, someone could potentially not even realize this was an elaborate commercial. Maybe they mentioned it during the first commercial break of the movie following the short, Feliz NaviDAD (also starring Mario Lopez), but watching that wasn’t on my to-do list. Anyway, the question now is what does Lifetime do with itself now that it’s peaked? I mean, they perfectly summed up all of their movies in a tight 15 minutes. Why watch a full film when the gist of it can be thrown into a commercial? What I’m saying is I fully expect the Lifetime channel to completely collapse within the next few months and replaced with the KFC channel. What, you’re telling me that’s the dumbest thing you’ve heard all year? I highly doubt that.

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