Category: Reviews
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Triggered (2019)
When a friend told me about Triggered, I was confused why she was drawing my attention to a film about kids in the woods with bombs around their necks. But that’s 2020’s Triggered; 2019’s Triggered is about a social justice warrior murdering people. That made a bit more sense given my tendency to watch the worst movies. But maybe this was a parody made in good faith? Maybe the message isn’t just, “she’s a deranged person who’s doing all this for attention.” But then I saw it, and unfortunately that’s absolutely the message. Well fuck me, I guess.
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Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995)
I don’t know why I picked up every single Children of the Corn movie. It started years ago when I did Chwineka Watches 31 Netflix Horror Movies for October and all the Corn movies up to that point (minus Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice for some reason) were available for streaming. Then years later I decided to inflict it all on Movie Night, which… well it didn’t require me to pick up physical copies, but it helped facilitate watching. And now here I am, watching the whole series for a third time. Which is a long winded…
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Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice (1993)
October of the Corn continues with Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice, which is obviously not the final movie. It was a bad idea to use that word for Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter–the fourth film out of 10 (before reboots)–and it was a bad idea here. Sure, Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest came out 3 years after this, but you had to know that creating a sequel 8 years after the original was going to open the door to countless sequels. Well, it’s 7 sequels, a reboot, a sequel to that reboot, and a…
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Hereditary (2018)
I count myself lucky that my family isn’t too crazy. Sure, we have members like “the one who’s always drunk,” but things could definitely be worse. Like, oh, for example, my mother didn’t have dissociative identity disorder and then died in hospice care, my father didn’t die from self-inflicted starvation, and my (nonexistent) brother didn’t suffer from schizophrenia before hanging himself! Oh, and I also don’t have a tense relationship with my (also nonexistent) children because one time I almost burned them alive while sleepwalking. Man, wouldn’t it suck to have that kind of baggage!
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Children of the Corn (1984)
Welcome to October of the Corn! That’s right, the same guy who skipped the X-Men: First Class movies because he was sick of franchises is jumping straight into another one right after Mummy Mondays ended. I have to do something productive with all these DVDs that I own, right? So suffer with me, because for the next 10 Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays (with one exception late in the month), we’re going to talk about no one’s favorite horror franchise. Fun!
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The Void (2017)
Have you ever seen the music video for “Fantasy” by DyE? If you haven’t, here’s a link. He’s a French electropop artist and the song is pretty good! But the main reason I want you to see it is because it has a twist. A very… Lovecraftian twist. What starts out seemingly normal night suddenly becomes a nightmare involving realities beyond mortal comprehension. And I bring this up because that’s basically the plot of The Void, too.
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The Mummy (2017)
By my counting, Mummy Mondays should’ve ended on June 1st. This is assuming that coronavirus didn’t upend just about everything, Movie Night was still meeting regularly, and that we wouldn’t’ve missed a week. But coronavirus did happen and it took me months before I decided to finish up this series by myself. It’s been a weird trip full of bad sequels and rare good moments, but with Mr. Tom Cruise’s 2017 The Mummy, we can finally put this monster back in its tomb.
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Digging Up the Marrow (2015)
A monster’s design can make or break a movie. There are countless times where I’ve been watching a movie and once the dreaded beast is shown to the audience it’s… bad. Sometimes REALLY bad. So I want to start off by saying that the majority of the monsters in Digging Up the Marrow look great! It’s just a shame that they couldn’t be in something better.
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The Lighthouse (2019)
What’s this? A surprise Thursday post? That’s right, it’s time for another month-long event! Every weekday in October I’ll have a horror movie post ready for you, dear reader(s). In previous years I’ve done personal things like “Chwineka Watches 31 Netflix Horror Movies for October” (or CW31NHMO for short), but ain’t nobody got time for posting EVERY day. Also I have far more streaming services at my fingertips, so movies will be coming from all over the internet. Anyway, let’s start the month off with something actually good: Robert Eggers’ second movie, The Lighthouse.
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Different From the Others (1919)
I mentioned this film back in June when I was watching the Pioneers of Queer Cinema bundle (specifically 1924’s Michael in this instance), but it’s finally time to talk about Anders als die Andern, AKA Different from the Others, the first film ever made with a pro-gay message. Yay for queer history!
Chwineka Watches 