The Breeding (2018)

The week of “movies I’ve been dragging my feet on watching” is wrapping up, so let's watching something that I was putting off because I knew it would make me uncomfortable! The premise of The Breeding is pretty simple: a white racist kidnaps a black gay man with the intention of torturing him until he submits to being a slave. Thank god this was written/directed by people of color, because if a white man was behind it I would cringe myself into oblivion. Based on that premise alone, I'm reiterating the warning at the top of the page: viewer discretion is advised, because sexual assault and racism against people of color is baked into the premise.

Melancholia (2011)

The week of “movies I’ve been dragging my feet on watching” continues, this time with Melancholia. See, once upon a time I rented this for Movie Night, and we skipped it. We tried to watch it! But the first 8 and a half minutes are just a slow motion recap (precap?) of the movie, and it was so insufferable that we gave up. It’s been at the bottom of my “to watch” list ever since, and now I’ve decided the time has come to see it. But was it any good? Enh… parts of it.

Sucker Punch (2011)

Mr. Zack Snyder is… interesting. The visionary behind the new DC Cinematic Universe (at least until the reboot it), he’s an incredibly polarizing figure. It also doesn’t help that I really don’t like Batman Vee Superman Colon Dawn of Justice, I thought Justice League was a mess, and I still don’t believe that the impending Snyder Cut of Justice League will be any kind of improvement. But I don’t want my opinions on the man tainting my thoughts on Sucker Punch! There are enough minor quibbles I have with the movie that do that already.

The Perfection (2019)

I try to be a decent person; at least, in regards to this blog. Sure, I fuckin’ swear sometimes, but I try to provide content warnings where applicable. And dear reader, I gotta warn you about this movie: there’s body horror on screen, several allusions and threats about sexual assault, and both of those are tied enough to the plot that I’m going to talk about them. I enjoyed the movie enough to give it a thumbs up, but no one’s gonna judge if you decide to skip this one.

Bound (2015)

I have a general policy to never say that a movie featuring Daniel Baldwin is “good.” That also applies to Billy Baldwin, but that’s off topic. Anyway, The Asylum’s special brand of “mockbusters” are typically pretty bad and it’s generally safe to say that they all suck. But every once in a while… there’s one that sucks slightly less than the others.

Plankton (1994)

So there’s a sub-genre of movies–mostly horror–that are fascinating to me in how niche they are: they have an Italian director, usually with American/English actors, and all the filmed audio is thrown out the window in favor of re-recording it in the studio later. Why do this? Some say that because the film will have to be re-dubed into foreign languages anyway, why not, but it’s still… jarring. This movie is jarring and weird.

End of the Line (2007)

What is the difference between a cult and a religion? That’s actually a serious question and relevant to this movie. I created the “cults” tag because every so often there’s a movie where cultists try to sacrifice a young girl so that their demon god can enter our world (like you do), but for this movie the “cult” is explicitly Christian. Most likely a subdivision of Christianity, as I was raised Lutheran and don’t remember the pastor passing out dagger crosses and pagers so we could be alerted when the end of the world was happening. But like, are the antagonists technically a cult?

The Turning (2020)

Up to a point I thought this was an okay movie. There were a couple weird decisions made early on, but whatever. Then the ending happened. Then I went home and read about the original story, The Turn of the Screw. Then I concluded that this movie was just not good.