Revolutionary Girl Utena – Season 1, Episodes 4-7

We're back at it again with more episodes of Shōjo Kakumei Utena, AKA Revolutionary Girl Utena! Last time we met several of our main characters, primarily Utena Tenjou and Anthy Himemiya. We saw Utena duel for possession of Anthy, something Utena finds very problematic, but the Student Council doesn't really agree as they want the revolutionary power that comes from being Anthy's fiancé. It's a weird show, but that's the 90's for you. So let's dive right in and meet the rest of the Student Council!

Revolutionary Girl Utena – Season 1, Episodes 1-3

Okay, so this one might need a little explaining. I am a "geriatric millennial," a term I saw once and cannot get out of my head, which in this case means I was on the internet back in the heyday of anime music videos, or AMVs. People would take anime clips and cut them together with a song and at the time it was high art. One AMV that stuck with me was Kusoyaro mashing up Bjork's "Bachlorette" with the film Shōjo Kakumei Utena Aduresensu Mokushiroku, AKA Revolutionary Girl Utena: Adolescence of Utena. It's my favorite AMV and the reason why I include "I'm a fountain of blood in the shape of a girl" on most of my social profiles. But I'd never actually seen Utena, so when a friend gave me access to his I got my own Funimation account, I figured it was time to fix that starting with the show that came before the movie. Time to look at some vintage 90's girl power that isn't Sailor Moon!

Out (2020)

It's Pride Month, and you know what that means! It's time for corporations to slap rainbows on their logos and pat themselves on the back so hard that they'll strain something! And this applies to streaming services, too! Netflix has an LGBTQ section, although it's there year-round and isn't being advertised on the main site as of writing. Tubi actually does have their LGBTQIA+ Pride movies on the front page, but after you click the Load More button (and it's also a year-round thing). And Disney+ has... several TV shows that feature one (1) gay side character, a couple shorts with some gay themes, and a few documentaries. At least it's on the main page, though! That almost makes up for things like their consistent lack of queer representation, their ability to easily remove any overt queerness they do add in order to appease homophobic countries (and their money), and stuff like a gay man suing the company for discrimination due to his sexual orientation. Yay Pride!

The Mummy’s Kiss: 2nd Dynasty (2006)

If I say that this was a highly requested movie, would you believe me? It's an obvious lie, of course, but it sounds better than admitting I wanted to watch this. Long story short, back in April of 2020 when we didn't realize how long the quarantine was going to be, Mummy Mondays was put on indefinite hold along with my friends' Movie Night. I watched several movies with mummies in the Mondays that followed, and one of them was The Mummy's Kiss, a lesbian porn with mummies and a flimsy plot. Well, there was a sequel made, so that's where we are now. Yup, this is definitely something people wanted to see and not my grim curiosity in action!

The Polar Express (2004)

I want to start by saying that we have a lot to thank Robert Zemeckis for. He wrote and directed Back to the Future, its sequels, and directed the... Back to the Future Saturday morning cartoon? That has to be a typo. Anyway the man is a legend! Buuuuut... holy crap, his animated movies are unpleasant to look at. It also doesn't help that the story at the heart of The Polar Express is also pretty blah.

Santa’s Little Helper (2015)

Once upon a time, my guilty pleasure was watching WWE wrestling (I've previously talked about it in the Scooby-Doo! and WWE: Curse of the Speed Demon post). But even that doesn't fully explain why I bought a physical DVD of a Christmas comedy starring The "The Miz" Miz, AKA Mr. Mike Mizanin, AKA The Miz. He's not my favorite wrestler. He's not even in my top 10! The only lists he tops are "most punchable faces" and "best example of self-absorbed heels!" But this also features Saraya-Jade "Paige" Bevis, one of my favorites. And she's the sinister rival. With hilariously bad elf ears. Okay, I'm back on board with owning this.

Fatman (2020)

My dear readers, when I heard that there was going to be a movie featuring Mr. Mel "Sugar Tits" Gibson as Santa Claus, I got excited. And Walton Goggins (the other, other villain of The Ant-Man and the Wasp) was going to be an assassin hired to kill him? And the person who hired him was a child pissed off that he got coal? Holy shit, this sounds amazing! An action comedy about trying to murder Santa! What could go wrong? Well, for starters, calling this movie a "comedy" would suggest that there are any jokes in it, of which there are none. And no joy, either. Humbug.

ThanksKilling 3 (2012)

Have you ever watched something so bad and/or dumb that you can actually feel your brain cells killing themselves so they don't have to retain anything from it? A movie so awful you walk away a dumber person? WELL ON THAT NOTE, let me try to talk about ThanksKilling 3 without screaming too much!

The Old Guard (2020)

I first heard about this movie on Facebook when a (gay) friend had posted an article about it and the preview image was two male characters kissing. That was really all I needed to know, so I logged onto Netflix and watched it. And that, as it turns out, was the right decision!

Horns (2013)

I honestly don't know why I dragged my feet on this movie. Harry Potter grows horns and solves a murder, man! And it's based on a novel by Mr. Joe Hill, the pen name of Stephen King's son, whose last work I saw was In the Tall Grass (I'll get to you one day, Locke & Key). If I had taken the time to look at the cast I would've also been blown away by names I recognize: Joe Anderson (Across the Universe), James Remar (The Blackcoat's Daughter), Heather Graham (Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me), and more! It's almost like this movie was made for me! Just a shame about the weak points, though.