Tag: family matters
“I don’t have friends, I got family.”
-Furious 7 (2015)
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A Windigo Tale (2010)
I like movie monsters. Give me some nasty motherfucker with too many teeth and eyes that pierce into your soul and I’m a happy individual. One of my favorite monsters is the wendigo, an Ojibway evil spirit that pop culture has taken and claimed as it’s own (seriously, they even show up in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic). But none of that really matters, because there is no wendigo in A Windigo Tale. There is a horrible monster that devoured the young members of their tribe, but it’s more… metaphorical.
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Children of the Corn: Runaway (2018)
And here we are at last: October of the Corn has reached the final movie of the Children of the Corn franchise. I mean, at least for now as even coronavirus apparently can’t stop the upcoming reboot. But Children of the Corn: Runaway is an interesting one as it’s a sequel to 2009’s Children of the Corn made-for-TV reboot, but made after Children of the Corn: Genesis, which by all accounts appears to be in the original continuity. Then again, if Scorpion King: Book of Souls can come out after Tom Cruise rebooted The Mummy, the sky’s the limit! Enough…
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The Craft: Legacy (2020)
Alright! A day late, but we’re here! The long-awaited sequel to The Craft! I’m sure somebody wanted this, right? Anyway, 24 years later we have a… sequel? Soft reboot? An Evil Dead 2 of a movie. But how is it? Is this a movie that needed to be made? I’ll get to that eventually.
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Children of the Corn 666: Isaac’s Return (1999)
I see what this movie was trying to do with “666” instead of “Part VI,” but… why? 666 is traditionally regarded as the number of The Beast, but that’s from the Book of Revelation (remember, it’s singular, not plural). So it’s very Christian… and while the child cult of He Who Walks Behind the Rows has performative Christian aspects, it’s definitely not the same religion. So having “666” in the title makes no sense!
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Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995)
I don’t know why I picked up every single Children of the Corn movie. It started years ago when I did Chwineka Watches 31 Netflix Horror Movies for October and all the Corn movies up to that point (minus Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice for some reason) were available for streaming. Then years later I decided to inflict it all on Movie Night, which… well it didn’t require me to pick up physical copies, but it helped facilitate watching. And now here I am, watching the whole series for a third time. Which is a long winded…
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Logan (2017)
Mr. James Mangold did such a good job on The Wolverine, why wouldn’t 20th Century Fox give him another shot? And what a shot this is! The second R-rated X-Men movie after Deadpool, Logan goes in a slightly different direction to justify the rating: instead of cartoonish violence, Logan shows how ugly fighting to the death can be. And a bunch of “fucks,” but that’s a side benefit.
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Russell Madness (2015)
Did you know that there is an Air Bud cinematic universe? If you need a moment to process that, you’re probably not alone. Air Bud spawned Air Buddies, which in turn spawned Santa Buddies and its sequel. But that’s not all in the talking animal universe (the puppies talk, by the way)! Now firmly in the control of writer/director/producer Robert Vince, we also have Pup Stars (dogs singing), several monkey movies (MVP: Most Valuable Primate, Spymate, Monkey Up, etc.), and now Russell Madness.
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Dark Light (2019)
This was not a good movie. It’s not one of those incredibly bad movies that wraps back around to “I have to show all my friends,” but it’s also not so boring that I contemplate suicide like an Ulli Lommel movie. It’s more like it had potential, but between bad acting and a premise that falls apart if you actually think about it, it just fails. A solid two out of five film.
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The Night of Counting the Years (1969)
AKA The Mummy, AKA Al-Mummia, which I take some issue with since that’s not what pops out when you put “The Mummy” into Google translate. But what do I know? I haven’t tried out Arabic on Duolingo. Anyway, this is supposed to be one of the best movies that Egypt has produced. Bit of a high bar, but I will say that despite sometimes moving at a glacial pace, this was remarkably enjoyable. Depressing as all hell, but still.
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Legends of the Hidden Temple (2016)
I remember watching the Legends of the Hidden Temple TV show when I was a kid. If you don’t know what that is, that just reminds me that I’m an old on the internet. Anyway, it was a adventure game show on Nickelodeon back in the 1990’s where teams of kids would attempt challenges, and if successful they would enter the Hidden Temple and try to get an artifact out before the hidden guards would pop out, scare the shit out of them (and probably a good number of kids watching), and end their run. And because nothing is sacred,…
Chwineka Watches 