Tag: adventure
“We’ve no choice but to embark on this perilous journey.”
-Dolittle (2020)
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Star Wars: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983)
To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t absolutely sure that I’d be reviewing Return of the Jedi right here. Mr. George Lucas clearly wants people to watch his Star Wars movies in episode order, but I didn’t want to go that route. And sure, release order–4, 5, 6, 1, 2, and 3–is what I’m apparently leaning towards, but I was really tempted to do flashback mode–4, 5, 1, 2, 3, and 6–,the logic is flashing back to Anakin Skywalker’s past after the revelation that no, he is Luke’s father. But at just about the last minute I decided at the very…
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Star Wars: Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Okay, now we can get to what many people consider to be the best Star Wars movie. It’s definitely up there for me, taking either the first or second spot depending on my mood. It’s also the first Star Wars film to have huge plot twisting revelations and a cliffhanger ending, things that nowadays seem overdone to death. Let’s jump right in!
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Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977)
It’s time, mother fuckers! I don’t know why I said that, I’m sure you’re all lovely people. But back to the point, not only am I finally getting around to Star Wars–only took 4 years–but I’m going into the franchise to a truly insane level. Welcome to 2024: A Star Wars Event! My goal is to cover as many of the movies and shows in this expansive franchise as I can over the coming year. I’m counting the main movies! The Disney+ shows! The Droids and Ewoks cartoons from the 80’s! That one kid’s show my friends’ toddler loves that…
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Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
This may come as a shock to you, dear reader, but I’m a bit of a nerd. I know I come off as a total alpha chad, but I actually have a huge collection of roleplaying books, card games, board games, and just so much geek shit. I’ve been playing Dungeons & Dragons since I called my friends over, slammed the core three books on the table, and said that we’re the kind of geeks who should be playing this game. As a longtime nerd, the various official D&D movies have been disappointing. The first was bad camp, the second…
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Luca (2021)
The world is–arguably–a more progressive place than it was in the past. People feel safer to be their true selves–although again, that varies from place to place, so just imagine that every positive statement in this opening comes with a little asterisk next to it. And that openness is reflected in media, with queer characters appearing more and more frequently, even in stuff for kids. Enter Luca, a story about coming out and the hostility one may face in living their life.
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Beethoven’s Treasure Tail (2014)
And now the end is near and so I face my final curtain. We’ve reached the 8th and final–as of time of writing–Beethoven movie. We started with one family, shifted to their cousins in Beethoven’s 3rd, swapped over to a different cousin in Beethoven’s 5th, rebooted the entire franchise in Beethoven’s Big Break, and had a pointless Christmas side story of dubious canonicity in Beethoven’s Christmas Adventure. Does this overly long franchise end on a bang instead of a whimper? Why would you ever seriously ask that question. Of course it doesn’t.
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Beethoven’s 5th (2003)
In a sane world, this would be the last Beethoven movie. Sure, in a saner world there would would only have been the original movie and none of these sequels, but either way that’s not the world we live in. No, when both The Land Before Time and Air Bud franchises have 14 movies each, we clearly live under the oppressive boot of capitalism, taking your nostalgia and trying to wring as much profit out of it as it can. So here we are with Beethoven’s 5th, the film that feels like a Scooby-Doo episode. Maybe that’s why I didn’t…
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The Suicide Squad (2021)
So my plan was to see The Suicide Squad in theaters. I had some friends lined up, we had the date all planned out, then a COVID scare dashed all our plans. This is the unfortunate world we live in, highlighted also in the fact that this fun movie is considered a box office bomb during its second week because a majority of people don’t feel safe in a theater yet. I’m not sure what movies are actually thriving right now, but maybe new metrics will be needed to judge movies during this post-pandemic pandemic. Where was I? Right, The…
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Ewoks: The Battle for Endor (1985)
Previously, I watched Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure, a made-for-TV Star Wars spin off for kids that was… fine. It was fine. I’ve definitely seen worse kids movies and worse Star Wars films. But then there’s its sequel, Ewoks: The Battle for Endor. While the first film is a story of togetherness–children teaming up with teddy bears to save their parents–the second film is darker, but also no longer fine. Kinda bad, in fact.
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The Green Knight (2021)
There’s a list of movies that I was excited to see before COVID hit and everything fell to shit, and The Green Knight was one such film. I can’t say that I’m a huge Arthurian legend nerd–I know the stuff covered on the animated Gargoyles series and that Sir Lancelot, the best knight ever who also fucks the king’s wife, was created by the French–but it’s been a passing interest. But add in a spooky atmosphere and I got hooked just by the trailer. And after what feels like years of waiting, it’s finally here, ready for me to watch…
Chwineka Watches 