Category: 2019
The year astronauts Christina Koch and Jessica Meir performed the first all-female spacewalk.
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Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)
I guess I’m a Godzilla fan? But what classifies someone as a “fan” of something, really? Sure, I’ve seen all the live action Godzilla movies, but I’ve seen all the Children of the Corn movies and I’m certainly not a fan of that franchise (no one is). The only Godzilla merch I own is a card game that has been collecting dust ever since I picked it up. I own a Gamera DVD collection with 9 or so movies, so am I a Gamera fan? No, but you get the idea. I guess for me, calling myself a fan means…
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Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)
Ant-Man was the epilogue to Marvel Cinematic Universe’s Phase Two, and Spider-Man: Far From Home is the epilogue to its Phase Three. But while Ant-Man didn’t really have much to do with the previous film, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Far From Home is a direct continuation of Avengers: Endgame. Tony Stark is dead. Long live the… new Tony Stark? Heavy is the head that wears the crown, and it’s got to be especially heavy for a 16-year-old kid from Queens. Enough purple prose, let’s wrap up MCU March!
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Avengers: Endgame (2019)
Everything in the Marvel Cinematic Universe has led to this. The Avengers and their allies stood up to Thanos in Avengers: Infinity War and were found wanting. Now it’s up to the survivors to pick up the pieces and try to, well… avenge. This is the end of an era, except, you know, for Spider-Man: Far From Home being an epilogue to Phase Three and all that. MCU March is almost over, so let’s get straight to it!
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Captain Marvel (2019)
Depending on who you ask, Captain Marvel was either a perfectly fine movie, or the work of evil social justice warriors trying to ruin everything for real comic fans. This film, Captain America: The First Avenger, and Thor: The Dark World all have have a 6.9 rating on IMDB (at time of writing)(nice), but only one of these films has 6.2% of its ratings 1 out of 10. The other two have 1/10 ratings being 1.2% and 1.1%, respectively, for those keeping track at home. But what separates Captain Marvel from the other two? What about this titular character is…
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Pet Graveyard (2019)
I’d like to make a retraction: In my Doctor Mordrid review (my second review ever on this site) I said that Pet Graveyard was a movie from The Asylum. It turns out that it’s actually from Uncork’d Entertainment, which is similar in that both companies make bad movies, but Uncork’d seems to have less production value than the Asylum. So with that damning statement, let’s tackle another entry from my “movies I have referenced” list!
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Triggered (2019)
When a friend told me about Triggered, I was confused why she was drawing my attention to a film about kids in the woods with bombs around their necks. But that’s 2020’s Triggered; 2019’s Triggered is about a social justice warrior murdering people. That made a bit more sense given my tendency to watch the worst movies. But maybe this was a parody made in good faith? Maybe the message isn’t just, “she’s a deranged person who’s doing all this for attention.” But then I saw it, and unfortunately that’s absolutely the message. Well fuck me, I guess.
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The Lighthouse (2019)
What’s this? A surprise Thursday post? That’s right, it’s time for another month-long event! Every weekday in October I’ll have a horror movie post ready for you, dear reader(s). In previous years I’ve done personal things like “Chwineka Watches 31 Netflix Horror Movies for October” (or CW31NHMO for short), but ain’t nobody got time for posting EVERY day. Also I have far more streaming services at my fingertips, so movies will be coming from all over the internet. Anyway, let’s start the month off with something actually good: Robert Eggers’ second movie, The Lighthouse.
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The Perfection (2019)
I try to be a decent person; at least, in regards to this blog. Sure, I fuckin’ swear sometimes, but I try to provide content warnings where applicable. And dear reader, I gotta warn you about this movie: there’s body horror on screen, several allusions and threats about sexual assault, and both of those are tied enough to the plot that I’m going to talk about them. I enjoyed the movie enough to give it a thumbs up, but no one’s gonna judge if you decide to skip this one.
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She-Ra and the Princesses of Power – Season 4, Episodes 1 – 13
Gonna start this one with a bit of a tangent. The original rough draft of this post was 2563 words. See, previously I was devoting at least a paragraph to each episode, going over everything in detail. But that’s longer than your average high school essay (hell, upwards of double the length) and that’s just unfeasible. It absolutely makes sense to cut everything down, summarizing the season in a paragraph or two, and then going over things I liked or didn’t like. But on the other hand, I’m throwing away thousands of words I wrote, which is one hell of…
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She-Ra and the Princesses of Power – Season 3, Episodes 1 – 6
Season 2 of She-Ra walked so season 3 could run. Sure, not every episode needs to be plot heavy, but this is the point where things really start ramping up. And after watching these six episodes, we’re now halfway through the series! Woo!
Chwineka Watches 