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Antlers (2021)
Anticipation makes the heart grow fonder, or something like that. Back in 2020 when the plan was to go to a movie theater each week–you know, before the world ended–Antlers was a movie I was pumped to see. It’s a mainstream wendigo movie! That’s a cryptid I am inordinately fond of! And thankfully, the anticipation paid off better than The Lodge, because this movie is certainly passable.
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Not Cool (2014)
So it was my friend’s birthday last week. He’s part of Movie Night–he’s actually the guy who started it in his parents’ basement–and wanted to watch something truly awful in celebration. Just some absolute dog shit. And I thought, hey, I know something that is supposed to be irredeemably bad! And so we watched Not Cool, a film that was made by a YouTuber as part of a reality show. And I hated it so much. So, so much.
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Old (2021)
Saying you’re not a fan of Mr. M Night Shyamalan’s later work is a pretty basic opinion these days. No one enjoyed The Last Airbender; and while The Happening is generally pointed to as his worst film, I will go to my grave saying Lady in the Water is objectively worse. So I did not have high hopes for Old when I first heard about it. And now that I’ve seen it, I can say that it’s another disappointment from a man who had so much potential. What a twist.
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Evil Toons (1992)
I would like to lodge a formal complaint. I was promised porn stars in a cheesy horror movie fighting to survive against evil cartoons brought to life, and yet there was only one titular evil toon. Yes, there is the suggestion that the Knockoffronomicon has more sinister animated beasties, but I’d argue that’s still false advertising. Well att least I got to listen to some godawful rock music… Okay, maybe I should start from the beginning.
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Butt Boy (2019)
So, uh… hey. How you doin’? Well, I’m doing just fine! Sorry there hasn’t been a post on this blog since… October? Holy hell. I burned out real hard, got super stressed at work, and now I’m in the process of moving! So sadly there hasn’t been that much time or energy to keep this blog up to date. I’m hoping once the move is done things will change, but I make no promises. All I can say now is that every so often a movie will stun me in such a way that I’ll have no choice but to…
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FleshEater (1988)
And so we end October of the Living Dead the same way we started: with Mr. Bill Hinzman. Remember back in Night of the Living Dead when I said to keep him in mind for later on? Well, that time is now! The man who played the first “ghoul” we see made a career out of that appearance, culminating in this film that he wrote, directed, and starred it. It’s currently freely streaming on Tubi, so that kind of tells you the quality.
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Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Finally, some good fucking content. After slogging through Night of the Living Dead and The Return of the Living Dead sequels, I set some time aside to watch an actually good movie near the end of October of the Dead (and also a really bad one, but we’ll get to that on Halloween proper). Shaun of the Dead is a parody of all the other zombie movies and stands out as a really fun watch. You know what? I keep going back and forth on it, but I think this is officially my favorite zombie movie! Honestly not sure why…
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Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave (2005)
And so with what is effectively Return of the Living Dead V, this stupid franchise is over. Return of the Living Dead started off as a horror comedy that veered more towards teen horror in the later sequels. But what if we could have both? What if they made a zombie horror movie that’s also a teen comedy? Too bad “teen comedy” in the mid 2000’s meant lots of boobs and pot. What else was I expecting for October of the Living Dead…?
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Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis (2005)
Whoops! This one’s a little late, but here it is. Anyway, Return of the Living Dead: Necropolis is the fourth movie in the Return of the Living Dead franchise, filmed at the same time as the fifth film, Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave. And they’re both certainly movies that exist! They’re not good by any stretch of the imagination–none of these movies really are–but they’re still marginally better than Return of the Living Dead: Part II. Now I’m imagining that faint praise on a movie poster…
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Return of the Living Dead III (1993)
There was a part of me dreading watching the rest of The Return of the Living Dead movies after the second one, Return of the Living Dead: Part II. I mean, Part II was absolutely atrocious and you can fairly safely assume any following sequels are going to be worse. But Return of the Living Dead III was definitely better! It’s not all that good, but it’s still better than the second one!
Chwineka Watches
The dead speak!
Chwineka Watches 