Tag: sci-fi
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Star Wars: Clone Wars – Volume One
Look, when I said I wouldn’t have any more interruptions to covering the Star Wars prequels, all I technically said was I wouldn’t immediately cover more documentaries. Never said anything about an animated series! And really, Star Wars: Clone Wars was designed to tell the story between Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones and Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith, so covering it now seemed like a good choice. Too bad none of this is canon so it doesn’t actually matter. Oops!
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Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002)
So we’ve got this Palpatine guy, right? Upstanding Senator and now Chancellor of the Galactic Republic, but you and I both know he’s also secretly Darth Sidious, dark lord of the Sith and the true enemy of the prequel Star Wars movies. And the original trilogy. And apparently the sequel trilogy, too. But like… what is his plan? I get that he’s consolidating political power and will soon take over the galaxy, but all his Sith shenanigans have me scratching my head. Let’s examine that after I summarize Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones.
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Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999)
Enough stalling, let’s get on to the prequels. While I did find the various documentaries made by Mr. Robert Guenette to be informative, I didn’t initially plan on covering them so early in 2024: A Star Wars Event. But I give you my word that I won’t be interrupting the prequel Star Wars films with whatever documentaries I can find. So let’s begin with Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, I movie that was better than I remember it being! Except for, you know… him.
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Star Wars: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983)
To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t absolutely sure that I’d be reviewing Return of the Jedi right here. Mr. George Lucas clearly wants people to watch his Star Wars movies in episode order, but I didn’t want to go that route. And sure, release order–4, 5, 6, 1, 2, and 3–is what I’m apparently leaning towards, but I was really tempted to do flashback mode–4, 5, 1, 2, 3, and 6–,the logic is flashing back to Anakin Skywalker’s past after the revelation that no, he is Luke’s father. But at just about the last minute I decided at the very…
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Star Wars: Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Okay, now we can get to what many people consider to be the best Star Wars movie. It’s definitely up there for me, taking either the first or second spot depending on my mood. It’s also the first Star Wars film to have huge plot twisting revelations and a cliffhanger ending, things that nowadays seem overdone to death. Let’s jump right in!
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Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977)
It’s time, mother fuckers! I don’t know why I said that, I’m sure you’re all lovely people. But back to the point, not only am I finally getting around to Star Wars–only took 4 years–but I’m going into the franchise to a truly insane level. Welcome to 2024: A Star Wars Event! My goal is to cover as many of the movies and shows in this expansive franchise as I can over the coming year. I’m counting the main movies! The Disney+ shows! The Droids and Ewoks cartoons from the 80’s! That one kid’s show my friends’ toddler loves that…
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Old (2021)
Saying you’re not a fan of Mr. M Night Shyamalan’s later work is a pretty basic opinion these days. No one enjoyed The Last Airbender; and while The Happening is generally pointed to as his worst film, I will go to my grave saying Lady in the Water is objectively worse. So I did not have high hopes for Old when I first heard about it. And now that I’ve seen it, I can say that it’s another disappointment from a man who had so much potential. What a twist.
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Highlander (1986)
Some movies become so ingrained in the cultural collective that we almost forget they’re a movie. Like, my friend had never seen Highlander and knew next to nothing about it, but even he had heard, “There can only be one.” But Highlander is indeed a movie, and one I hadn’t seen in something like two decades, so I figured it was time to rewatch it. And it was totally worth it, if no other reason than I got to see goth biker Mr. Clancy Brown. You can see it, but I’m swooning.
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Twisted Pair (2018)
I honestly don’t know what to say about this movie. Neil Breen is an auteur with a specific vision on the merging of humanity and advanced technology, and he wants to share that vision with us. Doesn’t matter that he’s an awful filmmaker and his movies are utterly incomprehensible, I guess.
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Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
COVID fucked up a lot of stuff. Case in point, Marvel celebrated the release of Thor: Love and Thunder because that meant they had finally caught up with all the projects announced at San Diego Comic Con 2019 (that had a release date). November 5, 2021? Whoopsie! But it’s here now, and it’s getting… very mixed reviews. And I kind of agree. To an extent, at least.
Chwineka Watches 