Category: 2018
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Black Panther (2018)
Black Panther was a game changer. Sure, it’s a piece of the greater tapestry that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but it barely feels like it. And that’s not a bad thing! It broke free, so to speak, from the standard hero template and became its own thing. Which, as it turns out, was widely successful as it’s the top grossing movie in the MCU that doesn’t have “Avengers” in the title (as of writing). Why was it so successful? Let’s dive in with this entry of MCU March and find out.
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Slender Man (2018)
2021, baby! Happy New Year! After a remarkably shitty year we’ve entered into a new one full of possibility, and I’m starting it off by reviewing absolute dogshit. January is dedicated to movies considered to be “the worst ever.” I’ve already touched on a few on the IMDB Bottom 100 like The Room, Cats, Batman & Robin, and even Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas earlier this week. Then there are the movies from Rotten Tomato’s “The Worst Horror Movies of All Time” list, including Brahms: The Boy II, Fantasy Island, and the Jacob’s Ladder remake. And I’ve also talked about a…
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Are We Not Cats (2018)
I’ve been sitting on this one for a little while. I watched it during October when I was only doing horror movies, thinking that the “horror” label I saw on several sites was accurate. I don’t know if it really counts as a “horror” so much as a “thriller,” but I was certainly horrified watching it. Mostly it’s a bunch of “body horror.” So here it is, ready for November. And it’s… oof.
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Children of the Corn: Runaway (2018)
And here we are at last: October of the Corn has reached the final movie of the Children of the Corn franchise. I mean, at least for now as even coronavirus apparently can’t stop the upcoming reboot. But Children of the Corn: Runaway is an interesting one as it’s a sequel to 2009’s Children of the Corn made-for-TV reboot, but made after Children of the Corn: Genesis, which by all accounts appears to be in the original continuity. Then again, if Scorpion King: Book of Souls can come out after Tom Cruise rebooted The Mummy, the sky’s the limit! Enough…
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Hereditary (2018)
I count myself lucky that my family isn’t too crazy. Sure, we have members like “the one who’s always drunk,” but things could definitely be worse. Like, oh, for example, my mother didn’t have dissociative identity disorder and then died in hospice care, my father didn’t die from self-inflicted starvation, and my (nonexistent) brother didn’t suffer from schizophrenia before hanging himself! Oh, and I also don’t have a tense relationship with my (also nonexistent) children because one time I almost burned them alive while sleepwalking. Man, wouldn’t it suck to have that kind of baggage!
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The Scorpion King: Book of Souls (2018)
When I talked about The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power, I had a number of people very surprised that they made 4 of these movies. Well hold on to your butts, but there’s actually 5 (so far). We’ve gone many different directions in this franchise, from the first feeling similar in tone to The Mummy Returns, the second being the Young Adventures of Mathayus, the third and fourth feeling like unconnected SyFy original movies, and then this one taking itself very seriously. And that could have been interesting, if I weren’t exhausted all the way down to my soul…
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Mandy (2018)
Man, remember when I used to talk about good movies? I don’t! According to my lovely archives, the last movie I talked about that was generally considered “good” was last month. Watching two weeks of Mothman movies does horrible things to a person, so I need to take a break from the suck. So let’s talk about Mr. Nic Cage killing a cult while high on megadrugs!
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Devil’s Gate (2018)
Have you noticed that a good chunk of horror media uses easily recognizable creatures but avoids naming them as such? Like, those aren’t zombies in The Walking Dead; they’re “walkers” or “biters” or whatever. In 28 Days Later they’re called “the infected.” And in 2007’s I Am Legend those aren’t “vampires;” they’re… actually I don’t know what those creatures are supposed to be, but they’re vampires in the source material. What I’m trying to say is I didn’t hear the word “alien” in this movie until about an hour and 22 minutes in, despite just about everyone watching the movie…
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Amityville: Mt. Misery Road (2018)
Ha ha HA!! I bet you saw the title and thought to yourself, “Oh thank god, he’s finally done with all that Mothman shit.” WELL THINK AGAIN, DEAR READER!! Turns out Tubi had one last movie with Mothman, and this time there’s an actual Mothman in it! Sure, it was for two seconds, and it was actually a dream, and it looked like garbage, but still!
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The Breeding (2018)
The week of “movies I’ve been dragging my feet on watching” is wrapping up, so let’s watch something that I was putting off because I knew it would make me uncomfortable! The premise of The Breeding is pretty simple: a white racist kidnaps a black gay man with the intention of torturing him until he submits to being a slave. Thank god this was written/directed by people of color, because if a white man was behind it I would cringe myself into oblivion. Based on that premise alone, I’m reiterating the warning at the top of the page: viewer discretion…
Chwineka Watches 