Tag: thriller
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Cube²: Hypercube (2002)
Don’t you love it when a sequel comes out and has practically no cast or crew in common with the original? I don’t! That’s how we get shit like American Psycho II: All American Girl, where a small child kills Patrick Bateman at the very beginning and the rest of the movie is Ms. Mila Kunis killing anyone in the way of her becoming Mr. William Shatner’s teaching assistant! Weird non-sequitur, right? We’ll come back to that…
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Cube (1997)
What time is it? Looks like it’s time for a mini-event! I want to cover some trilogies (and a tetralogy or two) so expect bonus posts on Thursdays for a few weeks. And we’re starting with a series near and dear to my heart: Cube! And my “near and dear to my heart,” I mean that I saw the first one something like 20 years ago, vaguely remembered the ending, and never saw the other two. Look, I got a notification that Tubi was removing all three films by the end of July, so that lit a fire under my…
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The Breeding (2018)
The week of “movies I’ve been dragging my feet on watching” is wrapping up, so let’s watch something that I was putting off because I knew it would make me uncomfortable! The premise of The Breeding is pretty simple: a white racist kidnaps a black gay man with the intention of torturing him until he submits to being a slave. Thank god this was written/directed by people of color, because if a white man was behind it I would cringe myself into oblivion. Based on that premise alone, I’m reiterating the warning at the top of the page: viewer discretion…
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Triassic World (2018)
I warned you all that this was coming. Yes, I’m back talking about another mockbuster from The Asylum, this one being released just days before Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom hit theaters. Both movies are about dinosaurs, both have a hardass woman in charge, and both have an unfortunate lack of likable characters. But this one was directed by my nemesis, gay porn star Dylan Vox. Yes, I’m still mad about Vampire Boys!
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The Perfection (2019)
I try to be a decent person; at least, in regards to this blog. Sure, I fuckin’ swear sometimes, but I try to provide content warnings where applicable. And dear reader, I gotta warn you about this movie: there’s body horror on screen, several allusions and threats about sexual assault, and both of those are tied enough to the plot that I’m going to talk about them. I enjoyed the movie enough to give it a thumbs up, but no one’s gonna judge if you decide to skip this one.
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Event Horizon (1997)
I have a joke with my friends that I’ve seen enough movies that I can predict dialogue and plot points. Not completely out of the blue, mind you, I’m not that good; but if everything is leading to a stereotypical line or an obvious plot trope, I’ve gotten good at noticing that the movie is heading in that direction. All this is just so I can say that I was thinking about the Hellraiser franchise long before this movie looked directly at the audience and said, “Have you seen Hellraiser? Because we definitely have.”
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The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
I want to do something different for The Dark Knight Rises, so let’s get the summary out of the way now: 8 years after The Dark Knight, Batman is retired, Catwoman is never called that in the movie, Bane wants to destroy Gotham, he breaks the Bat, Alfred pulls a “Giles leaves Buffy in season 6” and I still hate it, we see society turning on the rich as envisioned by the rich, surprise it was Talia all along, Batman dies, but not really, Bruce and Selina are happy, and Mr. Joseph Gordon-Levitt may become the new Batman. Or maybe…
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The Dark Knight (2008)
IMDB has The Dark Knight as the #4 top rated movie on their list of… well, if we’re talking about #4, how long the rest of the list goes doesn’t really matter. This movie made a huge impact when it first came out, but does it hold up a decade later? Yes! Of course it does! This movie is amazing!
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Batman Begins (2005)
We started with cartoons, continued with a mix between gothic and campy, and now we have reached the Nolan trilogy. These are some of the most successful Batman movies out there, delivering apparently what people expect of the caped crusader. I’ll touch more on that another day, but for now, we begin with Batman Begins.
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Dark Light (2019)
This was not a good movie. It’s not one of those incredibly bad movies that wraps back around to “I have to show all my friends,” but it’s also not so boring that I contemplate suicide like an Ulli Lommel movie. It’s more like it had potential, but between bad acting and a premise that falls apart if you actually think about it, it just fails. A solid two out of five film.
Chwineka Watches 