Tag: horror
“What’s your favorite scary movie?”
-Scream (1996)
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Cold Creepy Feeling (2010)
I know I complained about it in the Paranormal Investigation post, but man, movies about ghosts with absolutely no special effects suck. I guess it can rarely work–The Blair Witch Project, while not about a ghost per say, has no special effects and is amazing–but no effects AND a complete lack of effort a bad movie make. Throw in a title like Cold Creepy Feeling–sometimes called Cold Creepy Feeling: Paranormal Exorcism for unknown reason–and we have a hat trick of suck.
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Honeymoon (2014)
I know that one or two of you were expecting an X-Men: First Class review to happen this week, but I need a break from big budget franchises (not stopping Mummy Mondays though, sorry not sorry). Why watch movies that people have actually heard of when I can go back to talking about the weirdest shit no one but me cares about? Gotta stick to my brand! With that out of the way, today I’m talking about a movie I’ve mentioned previously on this blog: Honeymoon.
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The Mummy Returns (2001)
I recently talked about the supposed trilogy pattern of “first is fine, second is superb, third is terrible,” so it’s interesting to watch a trilogy that breaks that pattern. 1999’s The Mummy is a great movie that people love, while The Mummy Returns… exists.
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The Mummy (1999)
Alright, now we’re cooking! It’s taken roughly 10,000 years, but we’ve reached The Mummy movies that people have actually heard of. Sure, it was nice to see what came before and the origins of characters/names Mr. Stephen Sommers pulled from, but we’ve had enough of these movies taking themselves seriously. Show me some Brendan Fraser scaring the villain off with a cat!
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Blood From the Mummy’s Tomb (1972)
And we’ve come to the end of an era: the last Mummy film from Hammer Horror. On one hand it’s been nice to watch these older films and see filmmaking techniques and decisions from years ago, but on the other hand Mummy Mondays are posts with the least amount of clicks. Like, out of EVERYTHING else. No judgment being passed, I can absolutely see why! But it will be nice next week when I start reviewing Mummy movies people have actually heard of.
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Cube Zero (2004)
Look, I’m still a bit mad about Cube²: Hypercube, but I’m really mad that this is a prequel and not a sequel. Sure, it would be pretty hard to raise the stakes on the insanity that was the previous movie, but YOU HAD THE CHANCE TO CALL THIS MOVIE CUBE³–AKA CUBE CUBED–AND YOU DIDN’T! DISHONOR ON YOU! DISHONOR ON YOUR COW!!
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Cube²: Hypercube (2002)
Don’t you love it when a sequel comes out and has practically no cast or crew in common with the original? I don’t! That’s how we get shit like American Psycho II: All American Girl, where a small child kills Patrick Bateman at the very beginning and the rest of the movie is Ms. Mila Kunis killing anyone in the way of her becoming Mr. William Shatner’s teaching assistant! Weird non-sequitur, right? We’ll come back to that…
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Cube (1997)
What time is it? Looks like it’s time for a mini-event! I want to cover some trilogies (and a tetralogy or two) so expect bonus posts on Thursdays for a few weeks. And we’re starting with a series near and dear to my heart: Cube! And my “near and dear to my heart,” I mean that I saw the first one something like 20 years ago, vaguely remembered the ending, and never saw the other two. Look, I got a notification that Tubi was removing all three films by the end of July, so that lit a fire under my…
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The Mummy’s Shroud (1967)
Mummy Mondays is continuing to shamble along, this week with the penultimate Mummy film from Hammer Horror: The Mummy’s Shroud! And like last week we’re changing up the formula a bit! Sure, the villain is still an incredibly slow, shambling corpse, but, like, this time he didn’t have an undead boner for a lady.
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The Curse of the Mummy’s Tomb (1964)
The theme this week is “movies I’ve been dragging my feet on watching.” We start by opening the tomb of Mummy Mondays, an event that’s been collecting dust since early March. Back before the coronavirus, I’d have people over at my house every Monday for Movie Night, a tradition we had been keeping for over a decade. But actually contracting the virus, social distancing, and high risk jobs have done what years couldn’t do: Movie Night is on indefinite hold. I could’ve watched these Mummy movies by myself at any point, but it’s the principle of it, you know? Reviewing…
Chwineka Watches 