-
Dolittle (2020)
Children’s movies are a strange beast to talk about, mainly because the people doing the talking are not the target audience. If you call such a movie “simple” or “juvenile,” well… that’s kind of the point, isn’t it? Anyway, Doolittle is certainly not the worst kid’s movie I’ve ever seen–I’m sure a good number of kids had fun watching this–but it’s not going to be all that enjoyable for adults.
-
The VelociPastor (2018)
My love of weird, so-bad-it’s-good movies is not a secret. So much so that I had four people tell me about this movie existing, with me responding that oh yes, I have heard of the pastor who turns into a dinosaur and kills people. I even lucked out and got the DVD in the tiny window of opportunity when it was only $4!
-
Underwater (2020)
My first review of a movie that released in 2020! Expect more as time goes on! Anyway, I’m not a fan of the Twilight series (the ending of Breaking Dawn Part 2 still makes me mad). I didn’t think Snow White and the Huntsman or Panic Room were very good. But I love Ms. Kristen Stewart as a person, so I was hoping this was a movie I’d enjoy. Turns out, it was! It’s no highbrow, Criterion quality film (I’ll get to you one day, Personal Shopper), but sometimes you just want to watch a fun and tense movie.
-
The Fanatic (2019)
I was going to start this post off saying that the movie hated its viewers and its characters, but after a lot of thinking I don’t believe that. The movie doesn’t care what you think or how you feel, and it doesn’t care about any of its characters. It has a story to tell about awful people doing awful things, and if you happen to be watching then I guess you’re along for the ride.
-
Jacob’s Ladder (2019)
This movie has me mulling over a question about how I want to run this review blog, and about my movie watching experiences in general: do I need to see the original before I watch a reboot? Can I review a cheap and blatant rip-off/remake without having ever seen the original? Yeah, totally. I’m okay with that.
-
Replicas (2019)
Usually when my friends in Movie Night gather to watch our annual “The Worst of 20XX,” there’s one movie that we think, “oh, this is not good, but there are certainly worse movies.” I thought this was going to be one of those movies. But this is not. This movie is bad and it should feel bad.
-
Evilspeak (1981)
Man, for an early ’80’s horror movie, I honestly expected more. It’s not super campy, not violent or sexual to an almost cartoonish degree, and it’s just… fine. It’s fine. Everyone in it was fine.
-
Knives Out (2019)
With this movie I have now seen all 5 of Mr. Rian Johnson’s full-length movies (Brick, The Brothers Bloom, Looper, Star Wars VIII: The Last Jedi, and of course this) and can definitively say he’s a good writer/director, getting better with time. FIGHT ME, INTERNET!
-
Doctor Mordrid (1992)
Once upon a time, this almost was a live-action Doctor Strange movie. Not the first, that distinction goes to the made-for-TV 1978 version staring a Mr. Peter Hooten and his pornstache. But the licensing fell through and enough details were changed so that Charles Band could be credited as “based on an original idea by.” Sure, why not.
-
Under the Silver Lake (2019)
Every so often a movie crosses my path that just leaves me baffled, and this is certainly one of those movies. From the writer/director of It Follows (which now seems like the odd movie out of his filmography), we have Andrew “the second Spider-Man” Garfield as Sam in a neo-noir, conspiracy thriller about… um… Huh. I’m not really sure what this movie is about.
Chwineka Watches
The dead speak!
Chwineka Watches 