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A Puppy for Christmas (2016)
Christmas means many things to many people, but its true meaning is to be in a relationship with someone who will help you decorate a tree for the holidays. Oh, you doubt me? Then why are there a million different Christmas romances where that’s the message? Checkmate. In this particular case, A Puppy for Christmas is about finding your one true Christmas love AND adopting the worst puppy ever. Just a garbage dog. Girl, you’re ruining your life with this animal.
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A Christmas Carol (1997)
Holy shit, there are like a thousand adaptations of Mr. Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Who knows, maybe next year for December I’ll spend the entire month only covering different versions of the classic tale… But until that possible future, I feel like I should touch upon at least one adaptation each December. Last year was the beloved The Muppet Christmas Carol, but this year I somehow found myself watching the 1997 A Christmas Carol direct-to-VHS, Saturday morning cartoon-esque, animated version that was… not good. I’d say an attempt was made, but I’m not convinced of that.
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Interview with the Vampire (1994)
At the beginning of December, I was finishing up a week of The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari movies so I said that December wouldn’t be just Christmas/winter holiday movies. That was also said because I want to talk about Spider-Man: No Way Home when I see it as well, but then… death happened. Ms. Anne Rice, author of The Vampire Chronicles, died this past Saturday at the age of 80. Interview with the Vampire has always been on my list of films to talk about on the blog, so now seemed as good a time as any, as a sort…
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Hawkeye – Season 1, Episode 4
The latest episode of Hawkeye, “Partners, Am I Right?” has me wondering where this limited series is going. With four episodes down, we only have two left and so much is happening that I’m concerned that this series isn’t going to wrap it all up. But before I get all doom and gloom about what might happen, let’s talk about what actually did happen in this week’s episode.
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Elf-Man (2012)
I think I’ve made it fairly clear by now that I watch some absolute garbage. I see a premise that sounds stupid as shit and think to myself, “Oh, I can’t not watch that.” Most of the time such trash is amusing in some way. Maybe it’s actually sometimes funny like House Shark. Maybe it’s so awful in every way that you can’t help but laugh like A Talking Cat!?!. But sometimes, when fate is feeling spiteful, I watch something that’s just so aggressively bland, it hurts my soul. Welcome to me talking about Elf-Man, a movie where Hornswoggle from…
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Single All the Way (2021)
It was only a matter of time before things got gay up in here. Last year during December I watched Happiest Season, the queer romcom about Ms. Kristen Stewart not falling for the seductive charms of Aubrey Plaza. And it was cute! Sure, two out of the three main lesbians involved in the love triangle were played by straight actors (as far as I can tell), but that’s just the sad reality of movies. I mean, can you imagine a gay Christmas movie where all three in the love triangle are gay? Well I can, because that’s Single All the…
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Santa Jaws (2018)
Ho ho ho! Merry December! That’s right, the guy who hisses like a frightened possum when he hears Christmas music before Thanksgiving is setting up another month dedicated to winter-themed holiday movies. But I’m not dedicating the entire month to it, as The Cabinet of Caligari and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari remake indicate. Anyway, remember that poorly planned Shark Week I did back in August? It was an excuse to cover most of the films on the “Shark Bait: 6 Killer Shark Films” DVD pack I picked up during quarantine. I had previously covered Ghost Shark, but that week…
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Hawkeye – Season 1, Episode 3
Another week means another episode of Hawkeye, the latest Disney+ Marvel Cinematic Universe show. Last time, Hawkeye (Clint Barton) and Hawkeye (Kate Bishop) indulged their disaster-prone tendencies while trying to get back a costume he murdered a bunch of people in (Clint) and trying to find out if your future step-dad, Jack Duquesne, is a murderer (Kate). The ended up getting captured by the Tracksuit Mafia, which is led by… well, let’s dive into who is Maya Lopez (Ms. Alaqua Cox).
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The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (2005)
Now wait, you might be saying to yourself. Didn’t he already cover this? Well, yes and no. Yes, I started this week with a post on the 1920 silent film The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. But no, today’s post is on the 2005 remake that I can’t absolutely confirm is a shot-for-shot remake, but it’s the exact same movie. Except the characters now talk. A lot. And it’s not good.
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The Cabinet of Caligari (1962)
It’s December, which on this blog means… more Caligari movies? Hm. Last year, December was nothing but Christmas and/or winter holiday movies, but this year I’m breaking that pattern up a bit. See, I’ve been meaning to do these three Caligari movies for months now, so I’m forcing myself to do them now. Santa and all that will be coming eventually, but so will at least two breaks from the format since Spider-Man: No Way Home is coming out this month and there’s another, non-winter movie I watched that I want to talk about. With that out of the way,…
Chwineka Watches
The dead speak!
Chwineka Watches 