Single All the Way (2021)


It was only a matter of time before things got gay up in here. Last year during December I watched Happiest Season, the queer romcom about Ms. Kristen Stewart not falling for the seductive charms of Aubrey Plaza. And it was cute! Sure, two out of the three main lesbians involved in the love triangle were played by straight actors (as far as I can tell), but that’s just the sad reality of movies. I mean, can you imagine a gay Christmas movie where all three in the love triangle are gay? Well I can, because that’s Single All the Way. I mean, you had to see that coming.

Peter (Michael Urie from Ugly Betty) is unlucky in love. He tries to get his roommate and best friend, Nick (Philemon Chambers), to come home with him for Christmas and pretend to be his boyfriend. This plan falls apart so quickly that I’m not entirely sure why they included it in the trailer. But it’s fine, because Peter’s mom, Christmas Carole (Kathy Najimy from Hocus Pocus and a hundred other things) has set him up on a blind date with her spin instructor, James (Luke Macfarlane, who you’ll probably see here again before this month is over). But the rest of Peter’s family, including his dad (Barry Bostwick, last seen here in The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power), believe Nick is Peter’s ideal partner. Who will Peter choose?

I mean, it’s a Christmas romcom. I think you know how it’ll all end up.

It’s so nice to have a dumb gay movie where the drama doesn’t involve coming out. I’m not saying that those stories don’t have their own appeal, but so many queer folk are out and proud nowadays, so having Peter’s family know that he and Nick are openly gay was refreshing. To be honest, more refreshing than it should be. And as I implied at the beginning, all three main actors are gay! No heterosexual actor playing gay for the role and taking me out of the moment! You love to see it.

But Single All the Way isn’t perfect. The weakest parts are Peter’s extended family. I don’t have a problem with everyone meddling in his love life–it’s shown that’s just how the family operates–but only a few of them matter. One of Peter’s sisters and all the sisters’ husbands are barely more than background characters. The littlest kid has an annoying squeaky voice that’s like nails on the chalkboard. And now it’s time for utter blasphemy… Y’all, I just didn’t enjoy Jennifer Coolidge’s Aunt Sandy. She’s a wine aunt who was mostly included because the gays love her, but she’s mostly a hit-or-miss comedy mess that just steals scenes away from the characters who matter. Now having said that, I’m expecting the Gay Pope to formally declare my excommunication within the week. But I’m right! And it had to be said! Otherwise, the film is dumb and fun! Watch it on Netflix! I don’t know why I’m still yelling!

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