Tag: aliens
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Virus (1999)
Every movie is somebody’s least favorite movie. That’s just the law of averages, in my mind. I can look up just about any movie generally regarded as “good” or “a classic” and find 1 star reviews saying it’s boring, or just sucks. But while most people can safely ignore idontknowiknowthatidontknow’s review of The Shawshank Redemption, “if this film is #2 of all time, then i am Jesus Christ returning to burn this trash,” big names saying they hate a movie they actually were in is worth noticing. Case in point, Mrs. Jamie Lee Curtis has said on multiple occasions that…
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When They Cry: Kai – Season 2, Episode 1
Welcome back to the ongoing recaps of Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, AKA When They Cry! I had a slight hiccup in the schedule, but I’ve got the series all sorted out now up to season 3 thanks to a blu-ray collection! Just never ask me how much money I’ve sunk into this blog or I will cry. Anyway, after the Cat Killing Chapter special episode we are now officially in the second season, When They Cry: Kai, with “Kai” translating to something like “Solution.” This series/season has a new opening in addition to a new name, and hopefully some…
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What If…? – Season 1, Episode 9
So you might notice that I have not ascended to godhood. While I did correctly guess that What If…?’s eighth episode would be titled “What If Ultron Won?” I was wrong about the title of the final episode. It’s actually titled “What If the Watcher Broke His Oath?” which is definitely a better title, so I’ll take that loss. Everything in the first season has been leading up to this moment, as well as something in the second season! Let’s wrap this up!
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What If…? – Season 1, Episode 8
I fuckin’ called it! Hell yeah! Sure, we all pretty much knew what this episode would be about, but I got the title exactly right! Granted, the number of titles it could’ve had was limited. But still! “What If Ultron Won?” is the name of this episode, and I got it exactly right last time. Now, if next week’s finale is titled “What If It Took a Multiverse to Save the Multiverse?” then I shall transcend the mortal plane and become a god.
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What If…? – Season 1, Episode 7
A lot of What If…? comic stories are total downers. A bunch of real bummer buzzkills, bro! But why can’t everything just be chill for once? Sometimes it’s just nice to have an alternate reality that doesn’t harsh my vibe. I’m running out of incredibly dated slang, but the gist is that “What If Thor Was an Only Child?” is essentially a frat bro comedy about Earth’s biggest party ever, and the party poopers who are ready to nuke the site from orbit.
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What If…? – Season 1, Episode 5
Breaking the tradition of the last two What If…? posts, this is not my newest favorite episode of the series. By process of elimination I think it’s actually my least favorite? But that’s not the same as “the worst”–just “my fifth favorite out of five episodes.” This wasn’t too much of a surprise, as episode 5, “What If Zombies?!” goes all in on the reanimated dead, and I’m typically lukewarm towards zombies. And for reference, Otto; or, Up with Dead People gets a pass on how gay it is and because it came out before zombies oversaturated the media landscape.
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What If…? – Season 1, Episode 2
Death is an inevitable part of life. We all ultimately die, and once you’re dead there will be a collection of “the lasts” left behind: the last conversation you had with someone; the last meal you had; and for actors, the last project they worked on. In honor of the life of Mr. Stan Lee, comic writer and creator of too many characters to name here, Captain Marvel opened not with the normal Marvel logo, but a memorial montage of him. And then there’s Chadwick Boseman, star of Black Panther who died one year ago of cancer. While Ma Rainey’s…
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The Suicide Squad (2021)
So my plan was to see The Suicide Squad in theaters. I had some friends lined up, we had the date all planned out, then a COVID scare dashed all our plans. This is the unfortunate world we live in, highlighted also in the fact that this fun movie is considered a box office bomb during its second week because a majority of people don’t feel safe in a theater yet. I’m not sure what movies are actually thriving right now, but maybe new metrics will be needed to judge movies during this post-pandemic pandemic. Where was I? Right, The…
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Ewoks: The Battle for Endor (1985)
Previously, I watched Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure, a made-for-TV Star Wars spin off for kids that was… fine. It was fine. I’ve definitely seen worse kids movies and worse Star Wars films. But then there’s its sequel, Ewoks: The Battle for Endor. While the first film is a story of togetherness–children teaming up with teddy bears to save their parents–the second film is darker, but also no longer fine. Kinda bad, in fact.
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Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure (1984)
It wasn’t my intention to avoid the main Star Wars movies; it’s just that covering all nine is an event all to itself. And then the question becomes in what order do I watch them? Chronologically (1-9)? By release (4-6, 1-3, 7-9)? Flashback mode (4&5, 1-3, 6-9)? And what about Rogue One and Solo? But that’s a problem for future Chwineka, and fuck that guy. Today we’re talking about Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure, a made-for-TV kids film featuring everyone’s favorite Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi characters, the ewoks. What, you didn’t love the ewoks? Well too…
Chwineka Watches 