Tag: aliens
-
Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002)
So we’ve got this Palpatine guy, right? Upstanding Senator and now Chancellor of the Galactic Republic, but you and I both know he’s also secretly Darth Sidious, dark lord of the Sith and the true enemy of the prequel Star Wars movies. And the original trilogy. And apparently the sequel trilogy, too. But like… what is his plan? I get that he’s consolidating political power and will soon take over the galaxy, but all his Sith shenanigans have me scratching my head. Let’s examine that after I summarize Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones.
-
Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999)
Enough stalling, let’s get on to the prequels. While I did find the various documentaries made by Mr. Robert Guenette to be informative, I didn’t initially plan on covering them so early in 2024: A Star Wars Event. But I give you my word that I won’t be interrupting the prequel Star Wars films with whatever documentaries I can find. So let’s begin with Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, I movie that was better than I remember it being! Except for, you know… him.
-
Star Wars: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983)
To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t absolutely sure that I’d be reviewing Return of the Jedi right here. Mr. George Lucas clearly wants people to watch his Star Wars movies in episode order, but I didn’t want to go that route. And sure, release order–4, 5, 6, 1, 2, and 3–is what I’m apparently leaning towards, but I was really tempted to do flashback mode–4, 5, 1, 2, 3, and 6–,the logic is flashing back to Anakin Skywalker’s past after the revelation that no, he is Luke’s father. But at just about the last minute I decided at the very…
-
Star Wars: Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Okay, now we can get to what many people consider to be the best Star Wars movie. It’s definitely up there for me, taking either the first or second spot depending on my mood. It’s also the first Star Wars film to have huge plot twisting revelations and a cliffhanger ending, things that nowadays seem overdone to death. Let’s jump right in!
-
Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977)
It’s time, mother fuckers! I don’t know why I said that, I’m sure you’re all lovely people. But back to the point, not only am I finally getting around to Star Wars–only took 4 years–but I’m going into the franchise to a truly insane level. Welcome to 2024: A Star Wars Event! My goal is to cover as many of the movies and shows in this expansive franchise as I can over the coming year. I’m counting the main movies! The Disney+ shows! The Droids and Ewoks cartoons from the 80’s! That one kid’s show my friends’ toddler loves that…
-
Brightburn (2019)
Okay, you guys. You guys! I have a million dollar idea. No, a billion dollar idea! Are you ready? You’re not ready, but here we go: what if–take a moment and think about this–what if… Superman… was evil? I know, right?! Groundbreaking. Revolutionary. Just think about how much–wait, what? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS HAS BEEN DONE A THOUSAND TIMES BEFORE?! Fuck… FUCK!! Fine! Whatever! I’ll stick with just talking about movies, then, I fucking guess.
-
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
COVID fucked up a lot of stuff. Case in point, Marvel celebrated the release of Thor: Love and Thunder because that meant they had finally caught up with all the projects announced at San Diego Comic Con 2019 (that had a release date). November 5, 2021? Whoopsie! But it’s here now, and it’s getting… very mixed reviews. And I kind of agree. To an extent, at least.
-
Life (2017)
I will never not be amazed at how some movies just… sneak past me. Like sure, movies come out all the time and sometimes I’m just not paying attention, but how did a movie from 5 years ago starring Mr. Jake Gyllenhaal and Mr. Ryan Reynolds slip by? And it’s a sci-fi horror? This feels like an intentional slight and I will not stand for it.
-
Don’t Look Up (2021)
If nothing is done soon, global warming and climate change will kill us all. The sea levels will rise, severe weather patterns will become more common, entire ecosystems will be destroyed, and more disastrous things are in our future. Our entire way of life is at risk and there not only are people who are apathetic to these problems, but some actively ignore the warning signs and say nothing is wrong. It’s an absolutely maddening situation. And that’s basically the plot of Don’t Look Up, only it’s a comet and not rising global temperatures. Interesting premise, but not the best…
-
Eternals (2021)
I want to start by saying that I enjoyed Eternals. I went in with some fairly low expectations after all the mixed reviews, but I thought it was better than expected. It was fun–and not in a “so dumb it wraps back around to enjoyable” way–and despite the long run time, I never really felt it drag. But there be spoilers ahead, so keep reading at your own discretion. Like the header said, I won’t spoil the big moments, but still.
Chwineka Watches 