Category: 4.5 stars
Near perfect.
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Longlegs (2024)
I was planning to cover something political and trashy in the wake of… you know, but that didn’t manifest in time. But you know what I did watch last week? Longlegs, the new horror film from Mr. Osgood Perkins–son of Mr. Anthony Perkins of Psycho fame–and Mr. Nic Cage. And it was pretty good! So let’s talk about that and ignore our impending doom. Doom, doom, dooooooom…
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The Exorcist (1973)
I really hope you didn’t believe that I didn’t have a plan to fill out the 6 Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays left over after covering the 7 Paranormal Activity movies… The Exorcist and it’s 5(ish) sequels fit right into Paranormal Octoberty! Both franchises are about demons preying on humanity, but take different journeys on how that manifests. Plus it gives me a chance to review both a horror classic–this one–and also what a number of people argue is one of the worst horror movies ever made–Exorcist II: The Heretic. Is that really how I’m going to honor the recent death…
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Rogue One (2016)
Okay, I’m feeling refreshed and ready to get back to Star Wars content. Certainly doesn’t hurt that Rogue One–sometimes known as Rogue One; A Star Wars Story which is where the name of 2024: A Star Wars Event came from–is pretty good! It’s the Captain America: The Winter Soldier of the franchise in that it’s more of a spy thriller than the rest of the movies. I summarize it as a very 21st century movie, but lemme actually do the summary before I explain why.
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Star Wars: Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Okay, now we can get to what many people consider to be the best Star Wars movie. It’s definitely up there for me, taking either the first or second spot depending on my mood. It’s also the first Star Wars film to have huge plot twisting revelations and a cliffhanger ending, things that nowadays seem overdone to death. Let’s jump right in!
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Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)
Happy Halloween! Saw-mhain may be over, but I always try to have a little extra something on All Hallows’ Eve itself. And after permanently rotting by brain watching so many Saw movies, this year’s choice was pretty easy. Why not watch another movie directed by Saw II, Saw III, Saw IV, and Spiral: From the Book of Saw director Mr. Darren Lynn Bousman that’s also a cult classic and has a soundtrack I still to this day listen to? I mean, it was either this or The Barrens, and I’ll get to rabies Jersey Devil some other time.
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Saw (2004)
You didn’t think a little thing like a hiatus would stop me from celebrating the entire month of Halloween, did you? My tradition of a yearly October event lives on with Saw-mhain, a pun that works best if you know Irish /Gaeilge. Oh yes, the syllable break of Samhain (SAH-win) is Sa-mhain, because fuck you, that’s why. Gaeilge is a bastard language.
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Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
This may come as a shock to you, dear reader, but I’m a bit of a nerd. I know I come off as a total alpha chad, but I actually have a huge collection of roleplaying books, card games, board games, and just so much geek shit. I’ve been playing Dungeons & Dragons since I called my friends over, slammed the core three books on the table, and said that we’re the kind of geeks who should be playing this game. As a longtime nerd, the various official D&D movies have been disappointing. The first was bad camp, the second…
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Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Finally, some good fucking content. After slogging through Night of the Living Dead and The Return of the Living Dead sequels, I set some time aside to watch an actually good movie near the end of October of the Dead (and also a really bad one, but we’ll get to that on Halloween proper). Shaun of the Dead is a parody of all the other zombie movies and stands out as a really fun watch. You know what? I keep going back and forth on it, but I think this is officially my favorite zombie movie! Honestly not sure why…
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Run (2020)
Trailers lie all the time. Sometimes it’s for good reasons, like Avengers: Infinity War hiding how many Infinity Stones Thanos had when he fought Captain America. And sometimes it’s for bad reasons, like Slender Man cutting a bunch of scenes that would explain what the hell was going on while apparently forgetting that they were left in the trailers. Then you have a movie like Run which lies like a fucking pro.
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Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
I just can’t talk about this movie without going full spoilers. There’s a lot to cover, so this will be on the longer side.
