Legends of the Hidden Temple (2016)

I remember watching the Legends of the Hidden Temple TV show when I was a kid. If you don’t know what that is, that just reminds me that I’m an old on the internet. Anyway, it was a adventure game show on Nickelodeon back in the 1990’s where teams of kids would attempt challenges, and if successful they would enter the Hidden Temple and try to get an artifact out before the hidden guards would pop out, scare the shit out of them (and probably a good number of kids watching), and end their run. And because nothing is sacred, in 2016 it was brought back as a made for TV movie. Apparently the first game show to be turned into a movie! That’s certainly… something.

Scooby-Doo! and WWE: Curse of the Speed Demon (2016)

I don’t think it’s a controversial opinion to say that this movie is not as good as Scooby-Doo! Wrestlemania Mystery, the previous Scooby-Doo/WWE crossover. That movie stars more noteworthy wrestlers and features actual wrestling! But John Cena is a major character in Wrestlemania Mystery and I hate him so very much, so I own Curse of the Speed Demon instead. All because John Cena sucks.

The Call of the Wild (2020)

I’m just going to come out and say it: I’m not a dog person. I had a couple dogs growing up and they were… not ideal. I’ve never felt super comfortable around dogs, let alone a big dog. And let me tell you, Buck in this movie is a VERY BIG dog. Or, more accurately, a very big computer generated creature in the shape of a dog.

The Muppets’ Wizard of Oz (2005)

Full disclosure, this wasn’t the movie I planned on posting today. Not too long ago I had picked up a copy of The Devil’s Rain, a 1975 cult movie starring William Shatner minus his eyes, Ernest Borgnine as a goatman, and was the film debut of one Mr. John Travolta. And it was… fine. The effects were nice and the story was kind of lame, but cult movies aren’t generally known for being conventionally good. After watching it at Movie Night I was preparing myself to write up a review, but… I just couldn’t. There was another movie that we watched the same night that haunted me. A confusing mess that just wouldn’t leave my brain, forcing me to inflict it on the world.

Dolittle (2020)

Children's movies are a strange beast to talk about, mainly because the people doing the talking are not the target audience. If you call such a movie "simple" or "juvenile," well... that's kind of the point, isn't it? Anyway, Doolittle is certainly not the worst kid's movie I've ever seen--I'm sure a good number of kids had fun watching this--but it's not going to be all that enjoyable for adults.