Category: Nicolas Kim Coppola
“OH, NO, NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY’RE IN MY EYES! MY EYES! AAAAHHHHH! AAAAAGGHHH!”
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Longlegs (2024)
I was planning to cover something political and trashy in the wake of… you know, but that didn’t manifest in time. But you know what I did watch last week? Longlegs, the new horror film from Mr. Osgood Perkins–son of Mr. Anthony Perkins of Psycho fame–and Mr. Nic Cage. And it was pretty good! So let’s talk about that and ignore our impending doom. Doom, doom, dooooooom…
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Willy’s Wonderland (2021)
I want you all to know that I tried. Around the middle of September (after watching Malignant) I took a break from horror movies. The plan was to go without until October, when I’m going to start the same thing I did last year where it’s nothing but horror movies every weekday, with a franchise running throughout the month (last year was October of the Corn). But I’m a horror junkie, man! It’s my favorite genre! So I’m starting the spooky spirit early with Willy’s Wonderland, a horror comedy starring Mr. Nic Cage. It’s dumb!
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National Treasure: Book of Secrets (2007)
It’s that time of year once again, dear readers! As my state begs people not to shoot off fireworks so soon after a record-breaking heatwave and at the start of what could be one of the worst fire seasons yet, it’s time to celebrate the Fourth of July! Last year I marked the occasion by watching National Treasure, so it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that this year I’m looking at National Treasure: Book of Secrets. So without further ado, LET’S KIDNAP THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!
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Left Behind (2014)
I am not a very religious man, but when I was younger I read several book in the Left Behind series by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B Jenkins. If you haven’t heard of them, they were the story of those suffering through the 7 years of the Great Tribulation. I think I got up to Assassins, the sixth book where the Antichrist gets shot in the head (he gets better), before the HEAVY religious overtones were just too much for me. But they made movie adaptations of the series, so let’s dive into another shitty movie starring Mr. Kirk Cameron!…
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Mandy (2018)
Man, remember when I used to talk about good movies? I don’t! According to my lovely archives, the last movie I talked about that was generally considered “good” was last month. Watching two weeks of Mothman movies does horrible things to a person, so I need to take a break from the suck. So let’s talk about Mr. Nic Cage killing a cult while high on megadrugs!
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National Treasure (2004)
Who has two thumbs and actually looked at a calendar before deciding what movie to review? You’ll have to trust me on the thumbs part, but this guy! Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, and because of that I thought I should do a themed post. But what to watch? Independence Day is almost too obvious, Jaws took place during the Fourth… But I decided to go with a movie based on long standing American traditions: stealing stuff and believing conspiracy theories. LET’S STEAL THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!
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Color Out of Space (2019)
Finally! I missed my chance to see this in theaters, but I now own it and got to watch it with friends. I don’t feel a need to own EVERY H.P. Lovecraft-inspired movie (especially since that’s a rather broad category), but I had a fever, and the only cure was Mr. Nicolas Cage doing his thing with some eldritch abominations.
Chwineka Watches 