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So Undercover (2012)
This post is not sponsored by Tubi, but I am gonna gush about them for a bit. Sorry, but it’s a site with a bunch of movies you can watch for free! Sure there are ads, but uBlock Origin beats that shit down pretty well. And the movies come in a variety of flavors, from “That was pretty good,” to “Wait, they made a movie with THAT premise?!” And on that note, let’s talk about So Undercover, a film where Ms. Miley Cyrus infiltrates a sorority under orders from the FBI.
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National Treasure (2004)
Who has two thumbs and actually looked at a calendar before deciding what movie to review? You’ll have to trust me on the thumbs part, but this guy! Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, and because of that I thought I should do a themed post. But what to watch? Independence Day is almost too obvious, Jaws took place during the Fourth… But I decided to go with a movie based on long standing American traditions: stealing stuff and believing conspiracy theories. LET’S STEAL THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!
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Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)
You know what actor I absolutely love? Mr. Billy Zane. I think most people who recognize that name will know him as the bad guy from Titanic first, maybe as one of the guys in Biff’s gang in Back to the Future, and rarely as the titular hero in The Phantom. Hell, he even has a random cameo at the end of the lame Holmes & Watson as himself. But for me, my favorite performance of his will always be Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight.
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A Whisker Away (2020)
People who know me in real life know that I am 100% a cat person. Up until the death of my previous cat, I couldn’t remember a time where I didn’t have at least one fuzzball in my life. In fact, as I am writing this sentence, I have one (Willow) in my lap wondering why I’m ignoring her while she’s being so cute, and another (Xander) is thankfully silent, sleeping on the floor and waiting for me to go to bed. So when I saw that Netflix was coming out with a cat-themed anime movie, I was excited. And…
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Michael (1924)
And we have reached the last film in the Pioneers of Queer Cinema bundle! I really do recommend checking these films out, and I believe that the day I post this review (Friday, June 26th) is the last day all three are available. But when/if you purchase a movie you have between 5 and 10 days to watch it, depending on whether you pick an individual movie or the bundle. Okay, enough unpaid shilling, let’s talk about Michael, a the gay silent film of the trio.
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Mädchen in Uniform (1931)
And we’re back with the second film in the Pioneers of Queer Cinema bundle, Mädchen in Uniform, AKA Girls in Uniform. This is a very lady power movie: based on a play by a female writer, this has a female director and I’m pretty sure not a single man appears in the film. Very rare by today’s standards, but this was made in 1931 so I guess there’s another reason our current world sucks. Anyway…
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Viktor und Viktoria (1933)
Eagle-eyed readers may have noticed that there have been more reviews tagged “queer” than usual lately. That’s intentional and in honor of Pride month! There are no pride parades or celebrations I feel comfortable attending this year, so it’s down to watching a bunch of gay movies. And it turns out others have the same idea! My local indie theater is participating in Pioneers of Queer Cinema, showing a trio of very old queer films this month, and that’s our theme this week. We start with Viktor und Viktoria, the 1933 German musical that inspired the 1982 Mrs. Julie Andrews…
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The Perfection (2019)
I try to be a decent person; at least, in regards to this blog. Sure, I fuckin’ swear sometimes, but I try to provide content warnings where applicable. And dear reader, I gotta warn you about this movie: there’s body horror on screen, several allusions and threats about sexual assault, and both of those are tied enough to the plot that I’m going to talk about them. I enjoyed the movie enough to give it a thumbs up, but no one’s gonna judge if you decide to skip this one.
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The Half of It (2020)
Last time I talked about Cyrano de Bergerac, and as promised, today’s film is heavily inspired by it, albeit with a more modern skin. In The Half of It our Cyrano is an Asian, lesbian high school student named Ellie, our Roxanne is Aster, and our Christian is Paul. But in addition to the queer theme, I say this movie is better because the characters are more fleshed out and real, but also because Ellie doesn’t die in the throes of delirium.
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Cyrano de Bergerac (1950)
Have you ever talked about a thing with someone, and while you’re describing it they go, “Oh yeah! That’s THIS THING!” And you’re like, “I’ll have to take your word for it, but sure”? It happened to me once when I was describing a mobile game and was told, “That’s just Candy Crush but with a Sailor Moon theme,” and it was the same with Cyrano de Bergerac. Yes, this is a super vague hint of what’s coming Wednesday, but first…
Chwineka Watches
The dead speak!
Chwineka Watches 