Even with Movie Night taking a hiatus and then back with a relaxed schedule for a while, I still watch a lot of movies in a year. I don't mean that so much as a brag, but as a defense in this case. Devour is a psychological horror film starring Mr. Jensen "Dean Winchester" Ackles, and its poster caught my eye enough that I put it on for Movie Night. Simple enough, right? Well, turns out we had watched it back in 2018 and none of us remembered a single detail about it. Not the best look!
family matters
“I don’t have friends, I got family.”
-Furious 7
Becky (2020)
I feel like I usually have a fairly good idea on what a movie is about just from the premise. Not specifically every twist and turn, but for the most part I can watch a trailer and figure out if the movie's going to be a trainwreck or not. And I absolutely expected Becky to be a disaster. All you have to do is look at Mr. Kevin James and the swastika tattoo on the back of his head! Paul Blart as a neo-Nazi, trying a serious role? Bound to be a disaster. So imagine my surprise when this movie was not only not bad, but actually kind of good...
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
COVID fucked up a lot of stuff. Case in point, Marvel celebrated the release of Thor: Love and Thunder because that meant they had finally caught up with all the projects announced at San Diego Comic Con 2019 (that had a release date). November 5, 2021? Whoopsie! But it's here now, and it's getting... very mixed reviews. And I kind of agree. To an extent, at least.
Arrow – Season 2, Episodes 1-2
Oh man, it's been a minute. Remember back when I would occasionally talk about TV shows? I mean sure, I did wrap up Centaurworld after coming back from my hiatus, but it's been a year since I last talked about Arrow. Similar to how my work schedule has made it hard to watch movies while giving me time to read comics on the clock, squeezing in a 42 minute TV episode isn't too difficult. And so I'm continuing my coverage of the expansive Arrowverse! But first, a recap of season 1.
Run (2020)
Trailers lie all the time. Sometimes it's for good reasons, like Avengers: Infinity War hiding how many Infinity Stones Thanos had when he fought Captain America. And sometimes it's for bad reasons, like Slender Man cutting a bunch of scenes that would explain what the hell was going on while apparently forgetting that they were left in the trailers. Then you have a movie like Run which lies like a fucking pro.
A Wrestling Christmas Miracle (2020)
Mr. Ken del Vecchio is a bad man. His politics sucks, his writing sucks, his acting sucks, and the fact that he forces his kid into his movies sucks. Joker's Poltergeist was in very poor taste, A Karate Christmas Miracle, was baffling, and A Wrestling Christmas Miracle was so, so boring. The others may be worse to some people, but this was the bottom of the barrel for me.
A Karate Christmas Miracle (2019)
Man, I have been watching some absolute garbage movies lately. Under ConTroll tried way too hard for such a lackluster "sequel," the Blood Freak remake was cheap on every level, and Joker's Poltergeist took the real life tragedy of the Aurora theater shooting and turned it into a lame horror movie. In fact, A Karate Christmas Miracle is from the same wrier as Joker's Poltergeist and reused footage from that horror flick. While I knew this would be yet another bad film, I at least assumed it'd be more coherent than Poltergeist. Oh, how wrong I was.
Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
I just don't understand Joker's Poltergeist, AKA Joker's Wild. Arguments could be made for it being pro-gun, anti-gun, and also some weak ass middle ground just "trying to start a discussion." I'm afraid the answer may be the third option, which makes the movie being obviously inspired by the 2012 Aurora, Colorado theater shooting incredibly distasteful. Like, the main character's name is Aurora and she survives a shooting in a theater done by people in clown masks. Fuckin' yikes.
Troll 2 (1990)
Can you believe I'd never seen Troll 2 before? I know, it's kind of shocking. I'm a connoisseur of crappy movies, so somehow avoiding one of the most infamous ones is a little impressive. But Tubi is there for me with just the best selection of awful movies, so I felt it was finally time to fix this cosmic mistake. And everyone was right! This is a really bad movie!
Scream 4 (2011)
I guess it makes sense that Scream--the unoriginally titled fifth movie in the Scream franchise--came out a little over a decade after Scream 4, since Scream 4 came out a decade after Scream 3. It's the franchise that just can't stay dead and refuses to let Sidney Prescott live a happy life. No, it's a neverending parade of misery, as people around her are deranged enough that murdering people for clout seems like a good idea. I mean, it makes for a fun watch, but it's a bit depressing when you think about it too hard.
Chwineka Watches 