Tag: psychic powers
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Madame Web (2024)
What’s this? A non-Star Wars movie, interrupting my watching of Andor? Look, I do watch other movies; if it was all Star Wars all the time I’d probably Order 66 myself. I also managed to see Madame Web in theaters on Valentine’s Day, because why not! This is the latest entry in the Sony Spider-Man Universe (SSMU) featuring Spider-Man adjacent characters. Is the SSMU a real thing or just some fan making an acronym and taking the piss? Does it really matter? The answer is no, it does not. Madame Web is not the best.
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A Karate Christmas Miracle (2019)
Man, I have been watching some absolute garbage movies lately. Under ConTroll tried way too hard for such a lackluster “sequel,” the Blood Freak remake was cheap on every level, and Joker’s Poltergeist took the real life tragedy of the Aurora theater shooting and turned it into a lame horror movie. In fact, A Karate Christmas Miracle is from the same wrier as Joker’s Poltergeist and reused footage from that horror flick. While I knew this would be yet another bad film, I at least assumed it’d be more coherent than Poltergeist. Oh, how wrong I was.
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Book of Blood (2009)
Not every movie in this interlude near the middle of the Hellbound Halloween is going to have ties to Hellraiser. The previous two films–Nightbreed and Lord of Illusions–are connected through comics and novels, but that still counts (sort of). Book of Blood, however, is just a ghost story. It does have ties to other films, but no obvious connection to Pinhead and his ilk. They can’t all fit the theme perfectly.
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Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)
Last year I said that The Blair Witch Project is a great film, and I will always stand by that statement. Sure, it unleashed a plague of cheap found footage garbage, but can you really blame the good thing for all the cheap knockoffs that follow? Speaking of cheap knockoffs, this year we’re talking about Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2, a mistake on just about every level. Sure, that sounds a bit unfair, but how else am I supposed to feel about a movie called “Book of Shadows” that doesn’t ever feature–or even reference or mention–a spooky and/or witchy…
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Tell Tale (2009)
I want to say that I found this movie by looking up superhero movies. Tell Tale is a film written by Mr. Dave Callaham, who is credited as the writer on Wonder Woman 1984, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, and the upcoming Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 2. Hell, Callaham also wrote 2021’s Mortal Kombat and all four The Expendables movies–no, you’re not having a stroke, the fourth one hasn’t come out yet. Or that I found it looking up movies based on Edgar Allan Poe stories. All those are things I would talk about here, so it…
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Children of the Corn: Genesis (2012)
Do you know how bad you have to be to become the worst movie in the Children of the Corn franchise? Yeah yeah, welcome to October of the Corn, I’m mad at this movie. I complained that Children of the Corn: The Gathering felt like an unrelated script that slapped the franchise name on it, but this movie… this fucking movie… Okay, enough vague ranting, let’s dive in.
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The Mummy’s Shroud (1967)
Mummy Mondays is continuing to shamble along, this week with the penultimate Mummy film from Hammer Horror: The Mummy’s Shroud! And like last week we’re changing up the formula a bit! Sure, the villain is still an incredibly slow, shambling corpse, but, like, this time he didn’t have an undead boner for a lady.
Chwineka Watches 