Category: 2014
The year Russia annexed Crimea, causing their suspension from the G8 and a whole lot of other shit.
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The Mothman Curse (2014)
What’s worse than a Mothman movie with a bad Mothman? A Mothman movie that doesn’t have any Mothman! Yeah, we’re still on America’s second favorite cryptid (I’ll get to you another day, Bigfoot), and today’s movie is just… bad. Astonishingly bad. So bad that I’m skipping a normal recap and just ripping right into the fucker.
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Honeymoon (2014)
I know that one or two of you were expecting an X-Men: First Class review to happen this week, but I need a break from big budget franchises (not stopping Mummy Mondays though, sorry not sorry). Why watch movies that people have actually heard of when I can go back to talking about the weirdest shit no one but me cares about? Gotta stick to my brand! With that out of the way, today I’m talking about a movie I’ve mentioned previously on this blog: Honeymoon.
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Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark (2014)
I really have to stop thinking, “This is the worst Mega Shark movie yet,” when there are still more to go. This has been a rough Shark Week, but it’s all self-inflicted so… sucks to be me! Anyway, I will start this by saying that in the years since Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, the special effects have improved! The mega shark actually sometimes looks good! But there’s always a cost, and this time the cost is that everything else is very bad.
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Housebound (2014)
I should come up with an official policy on how to tag movies with a twist that nullifies another tag. Like, spoilers for The Turning, but should I really have tagged the movie “ghosts” if the ending pretty conclusively says that she was crazy the whole time and there’s nothing supernatural happening? But the ghosts–or at least the concept of ghosts–is pretty crucial to the movie. And since the tags are listed at the top of the page, you might be seeing where I’m going with this.
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The Pyramid (2014)
Mummy Mondays are still on hold due to social distancing (we should be back on track next week), so this week I’m talking about The Pyramid, a movie that doesn’t actually have a mummy for the villain. I imagine The Scorpion King franchise is the same way, so it was going to happen at some point. Instead our villain is… Anubus. Like, the actual Egyptian, jackal-headed god of death. Well, that could be cool… TOO BAD IT IS NOT!
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Edge of Tomorrow (2014)
AKA Live Die Repeat. Or maybe Live. Die. Repeat.? Either way I think we all can agree that the best name comes from the manga: All You Need is Kill.
Chwineka Watches 