Category: Reviews
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Longlegs (2024)
I was planning to cover something political and trashy in the wake of… you know, but that didn’t manifest in time. But you know what I did watch last week? Longlegs, the new horror film from Mr. Osgood Perkins–son of Mr. Anthony Perkins of Psycho fame–and Mr. Nic Cage. And it was pretty good! So let’s talk about that and ignore our impending doom. Doom, doom, dooooooom…
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Repossessed (1990)
Surprise! A special extra post for Halloween! Regular readers know I do something like this every year. I started in 2020 with The Descent–my favorite horror movie–and followed it up the next year with the subpar The Descent: Part 2 (which was also my 400th review, hot damn). In 2022 I kept it somewhat on theme with October of the Living Dead and covered FleshEater, then the next year had Repo! The Genetic Opera to tie into Saw-mhain. So what to do this year? I could do a horror movie I love, a horror movie I hate, or theme it…
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Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)
Last we saw the Paranormal Activity franchise as part of Paranormal Octoberty, Toby/Tobi was granted a physical body and I guess the apocalypse happened, or something. Not very easy to continue that story, so 6 years later we have a reboot! Or an attempt at an anthology that’s somewhat related to the previous films while not actually continuing the story? How very Halloween III: Season of the Witch of you, and I don’t mean that as a compliment. Was it worth it? I mean… not especially, but was it better than Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension? Read on to find…
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The Exorcist: Believer (2023)
It is absolutely wild to me that an Exorcist sequel came out in the year of our Lord 2023. I know I haven’t always been the most up to date on movies, but I had no idea this movie existed until I went looking for a companion franchise for the Paranormal Activity films as part of Paranormal Octoberty. And while Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin–which came out in 2021 and I only learned about it like two years later–is supposed to be a stand-alone film, The Exorcist: Believer wants us to know that they got Ms. Ellen Burstyn. She was…
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Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)
I can’t really call it a “milestone,” but Paranormal Octoberty has reached the point where this is the last movie in either franchise–Paranormal Activity and The Exorcist–that I have seen. And I basically remembered nothing about Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension, so it’s kind of like watching it again for the first time? And now that I’m blogging about it, I’m sure that it’ll stick in my brain. Yup, I definitely remember watching every movie I’ve talked about on here! Like that Jensen Ackles movie, Devour, where he… uh… was in a dysfunctional relationship with Jared Padalecki from Gilmore Girls?…
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Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (2005)
What’s a horror franchise without a prequel? Most of them, actually, but it sure seems like nowadays we have to spend at least an hour and a half explaining shit we either had already deduced through context clues, or were the source of much heated debates in the internet’s smelliest chatrooms. I just don’t see the need for this movie, you know? But here we are, seeing the origin of Father Lankester Merrin and how exorcizing Regan was actually… a… Wait a minute. Yadda yadda yadda, Paranormal Octoberty, what the hell is going on here?!
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Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014)
People who have been following Paranormal Octoberty may have seen me mention the idea of time traveling witches while talking about the Paranormal Activity franchise. What a weird thing to bring up in a series about demons attacking families and possessing people, right? Well, as it turns out, there are time traveling witches in Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones, which is either the fifth main film or the first spin-off, depending on how you keep track of it. Maybe both? Let’s go with both. Both is good. This movie, however, is not as good.
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Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)
What’s a horror franchise without a prequel? Most of them, actually, but it sure seems like nowadays we have to spend at least an hour and a half explaining shit we either had already deduced through context clues, or were the source of much heated debates in the internet’s smelliest chatrooms. I just don’t see the need for this movie, you know? But here we are, seeing the origin of Father Lankester Merrin and how exorcizing Regan was actually a piece of cake. You know, up to the point where he died… OH YEAH RIGHT WELCOME BACK TO PARANORMAL OCTOBERTY!
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Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)
We’re starting to push against the limits of the Paranormal Activity franchise, which I’ve been talking about this month as part of Paranormal Octoberty, insert shameless plug here. The first Paranormal Activity was about Katie, 2 was about the her sister Kristi, and 3 was about the two of them as children. All dealing with an invisible demon, yes yes yes, but we’ve focused on the same family for three films now. So it makes sense to jump ahead in the timeline and focus on another family! It’d also make sense if this was the end of the franchise, but…
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The Exorcist III (1990)
I hold a special soft spot in my heart for The Exorcist III (my doctor is very worried, but there it remains). I can’t say it’s better than the original The Exorcist, but it’s miles beyond whatever the fuck Exorcist II: The Heretic was. But through some warts I can see the movie III wanted to be and might’ve been. Which is a roundabout way of saying I watched the theatrical cut, not the director’s Legion cut. Come on, I’m not going to watch the same Exorcist franchise movie twice for Paranormal Octoberty! That would be crazy.
Chwineka Watches 