The Rift: Dark Side of the Moon (2016)

Lemme pull back the curtain a bit here at Chwineka Watches: I usually listen to music when writing up these posts. Revolutionary, I know. I have that "lofi hip hop radio" YouTube video bookmarked, but lately I've felt the urge to listen to music in my collection. Even more recently, I've taken all the songs I have from my new favorite band--the Anix--put them into one playlist, and just hit shuffle when it comes time to write. I really do like these guys, so imagine my surprise when I heard them while watching this utterly lackluster Serbian film! But, like, not actually A Serbian Film, a movie I will never watch, let alone for this blog.

The Empty Man (2020)

You know what I did recently? I had a friend over to my place... and neither of us wore our masks! Scandalous, I know. He was one of the Movie Night guys, and the fact that we haven't had one of those in over a year is really getting to us. It was a thing we did every week for over a decade! But it was nice to have someone over watching a horror movie with me, even if we were as far apart as possible while not sitting on the floor. Anyway, we watched The Empty Man on his recommendation, and it was a fun experience all around.

My Life Me

Today's post was supposed to be about literally any other show. Now that I've finished the first season of Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, AKA When They Cry, the sky was the limit! Do I jump back into superhero shows with the first season of Arrow? Start on something I love like Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated? Or pull out something weird from my DVD collection like Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century? But no, while looking up... I honestly don't remember what, I discovered the existence of the Canadian cartoon My Life Me, and I haven't been able to get it out of my head ever since. Is it good? Not really, but it has a siren's song on my soul. So here we are, talking about a show I bet literally none of you have ever heard of. On brand for me, but still.

Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)

So here we are, a week later. I started this mini event by watching Godzilla vs. Kong and then thinking, "hey, shouldn't I review the other movies first?" This idea of having to review the preceding films has had a spotty record here, since I reviewed Brahams: The Boy II half a year before getting to The Boy, and I haven't covered the original Jacob's Ladder after talking about the awful, awful Jacob's Ladder remake. So why do it now, when it would push this review even further away from being topical? I dunno, man. I guess I just wanted to watch giant monsters punch fight each other again.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)

I guess I'm a Godzilla fan? But what classifies someone as a "fan" of something, really? Sure, I've seen all the live action Godzilla movies, but I've seen all the Children of the Corn movies and I'm certainly not a fan of that franchise (no one is). The only Godzilla merch I own is a card game that has been collecting dust ever since I picked it up. I own a Gamera DVD collection with 9 or so movies, so am I a Gamera fan? No, but you get the idea. I guess for me, calling myself a fan means that when Godzilla starts glowing red in Godzilla: King of the Monsters, I cheered for the reappearance of Burning Godzilla. So I'm a fan in that I'm a huge fucking nerd.

Kong: Skull Island (2017)

Is anybody actually a fan of King Kong? They have to exist, otherwise why would there be... is that right? 10 King Kong movies before this one? I'll file that fact away for later. Anyway, when I first heard about this movie, I resigned myself to watching it, knowing it would have connections to future Godzilla movies and I'm a sucker for watching every movie in a franchise. So imagine my surprise when I actually enjoyed this!

When They Cry, Season 1: Episodes 22-26

Here we finally are, the last arc in the first season of Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, AKA When They Cry. Or is it series, since the next series/season has a different subtitle, title song, and end credits song? I'm honestly not sure, just like I'm honestly not sure what's really going on in this series. But not necessarily in a bad way? That's the intent, what with it being a mystery series and all, but damn, it would be nice to get some actual answers. Good thing this is a so-called answer arc! So let's jump into Atonement and finish off the first season. Series. Whatever.

Godzilla (2014)

I can't do anything easily, can I? I'm already a month late to reviewing Godzilla vs. Kong, and yet I feel the need to start at the beginning of the so-called MonsterVerse cinematic universe with 2014's Godzilla, AKA the one I think is the least good. I mean, it's not the worst Godzilla movie ever--I hate you so much, Gabara and will NEVER forgive you for existing--but of the four films in this new franchise, it's the weakest, in part because it shows as little of Godzilla as possible.

Ghost Shark (2013)

Oh, I'm sorry, did you think I was kidding at the end of the Tsunambee post when I said I was going to watch Ghost Shark next? I own a physical copy of the damn thing! Sometime in the middle of quarantine (time has been rendered meaningless) I picked up a DVD multipack of shark movies that also included one alligator film because...? Anyway, when's Shark Week? Sometime in July or August? Well don't be surprised if I celebrate by watching Mississippi River Sharks, Ozark Sharks, Santa Jaws, Radioactive Sewer Sharks, Swamp Shark, and/or Zombie Shark. I also made up one of those, have fun guessing.

Tsunambee (2015)

Who doesn't love a good bad disaster movie? You don't go into Sharknado expecting fine cinema, you go in hoping that a guy cuts a shark in half with a chainsaw, and that said shark was delivered to him via tornado. So imagine how excited I was when I first saw a film called Tsunambee. The tagline on the poster is "This is gonna sting a little!" It's a goofy movie about a tsunami of bees, right? Right...?