Arrow episodes are on hold this weekend so I can make it all about Loki, the latest Disney+ MCU show! "But wait," you may be saying, "didn't Loki debut on Wednesday?" Well, yes, you're right. Talking about shows on the weekend was set up on this blog thinking all new episodes of Disney+ shows would go live on Friday, but then they decided to throw a curveball and have Loki drop the same day weekly comic books do. I'm sticking to show reviews going up on Saturday for this series, but if the next one also drops on Wednesdays--signs point to it being What If...?--I'll probably be forced to rethink stuff. But enough about that, let's talk about the implications of Marvel's newest show!
When I decided to review a bunch of queer movies in honor of Pride Month, I had two goals: to review The Matrix trilogy--the directors are trans sisters, so that's why I opened with the "or were made by queer creators" caveat--and to review Strapped, which is probably my favorite gay movie. It's a bit of an odd one, but did you really expect anything less from me by this point?
It's Pride Month, and you know what that means! It's time for corporations to slap rainbows on their logos and pat themselves on the back so hard that they'll strain something! And this applies to steaming services, too! Netflix has an LGBTQ section, although it's there year-round and isn't being advertised on the main site as of writing. Tubi actually does have their LGBTQIA+ Pride movies on the front page, but after you click the Load More button (and it's also a year-round thing). And Disney+ has... several TV shows that feature one (1) gay side character, a couple shorts with some gay themes, and a few documentaries. At least it's on the main page, though! That almost makes up for things like their consistent lack of queer representation, their ability to easily remove any overt queerness they do add in order to appease homophobic countries (and their money), and stuff like a gay man suing the company for discrimination due to his sexual orientation. Yay Pride!
By sheer coincidence, it's been about a year since I reviewed Vampire Boys, a gay queer vampire flick that is... not very good. I didn't do a themed Pride Month last year, so watching it in June was just something that happened. But here we are, now talking about Vampire Boys 2: The New Brood. Just about every major cast member has been replaced, except for... wait, who was Tara again? Of course I actually remember--she's the girl that adds a smidge of bisexuality to what is otherwise an incredibly gay movie.
It's the weekend, which means more of me rambling about Arrow episodes! I know that June is Pride Month and the show at this point has little to no queer representation, but I'd already started this project before June and I'm reviewing queer movies on weekdays, so lemme have this little break. Last we saw, Oliver Queen got absolutely trounced by an assassin revealed (to us, not Oliver) to be Malcolm Merlyn, the first season's big bad. Where does this main plot go in these episodes? Not really anywhere super noteworthy, but that's the nature of long-running shows: not every episode can further the metaplot in a meaningful way.
Once upon a time, I started a movie blog. The twist of the story is that what I created was not this Chwineka Watches, but a different, earlier blog whose name escapes me at the moment (probably also Chwineka Watches). The reviews were more longform, with posts being around 4000 words and featured several screenshots that had quirky captions because I was obviously inspired by Cracked Dot Com. One of the movies I reviewed at the time was Otto; or, Up with Dead People, a film about a gay zombie, something I'm redoing here as part of Pride Month. Looking back years later on that early review is weird to me now, because I can see how my opinions and thought processes have changed over time. Lemme explain.
Happy Pride Month, everybody! June will be dedicated to movies with overly queer content or were made by queer creators (a distinction that will come up later). I'm going to start this all off by doing something different: I enjoyed What Keeps You Alive. It has moments where the story has problems if you think about the implications too hard, but it's a tense thriller that had me on the edge of my seat the entire time. That being said, the trailer revealed way too much--they always do--and while not spoiling everything, I'm going to talk a lot about the story in this post. So if you want to see a thriller about a woman discovering what secrets her wife has been keeping from her, go check it out on Netflix. And with that out of the way, let's dive in!
As I threatened on Friday while talking about Darkness Falls, there is more than one horror movie where the villain is a witch called the Tooth Fairy. But where Darkness Falls had some effort put into it, 2006's The Tooth Fairy is bad on just about every level. The monster is disappointing, the characters are bland, and the whole thing is a waste of time.
Welcome back to me talking about Arrow, a thing I still haven't come up with a cute name for yet. This batch of episodes wraps up with episode 9, the midseason break. Is that something I have to explain? Just in case, way back in the Before Times, weekly TV shows often took a break for a month or so around the middle of a season to give the actors and creators a little break. Usually it'd end on a cliffhanger, and this sort of has one!
Given enough time, horror movies will try to make everything creepy. I've seen a horror trailer where the "Happy Birthday" song is sung menacingly, and I gotta say, I was not impressed. But more relevant to today's post, Darkness Falls is about the Tooth Fairy killing people. I just... really? You thought people would be afraid of the Tooth Fairy? At least they had the good decency to come up with a somewhat creepy title, instead of being lazy and just calling this film The Tooth Fairy.