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Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)
So… Paranormal Activity 3 is the one of the better horror “threequels,” right? I mean, honestly, what else is in the running? Ignoring obvious losers like Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth and Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest we have a couple worth mentioning in this intro paragraph: The Exorcist III is pretty decent (but we’ll get to that later in Paranormal Octoberty), I’m not sure if Day of the Dead counts because it doesn’t have a “3” in the title but it was also pretty good, Friday the 13th Part III is only really noteworthy because that’s when…
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Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)
It’s time to rip the bandage off–Exorcist II: The Heretic is probably the worst movie I’m going to watch as part of Paranormal Octoberty. I mean, Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin sure could surprise me, but this is an infamously bad sequel. And it features Mr. James Earl Jones, who sadly died recently. This flick is the first thing I’ve seen him in since his passing, so this is apparently how I’m honoring his life! What a fucking waste.
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Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)
Look, I’m not going to say that Paranormal Activity 2 is a bad movie. It’s fine, 5 out of 10. I just think it’s the start of a slippery slope for the franchise. The first Paranormal Activity–which I covered last week as part of Paranormal Octoberty, hi, gotta throw a plug for the event into every intro paragraph, yes–was a decent stand-alone horror film with hints at something larger. But 2 really starts to dive deep into the lore of Katie and her family, and it’s not always great. I mean, we’re not at time traveling witches yet, but I…
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The Exorcist (1973)
I really hope you didn’t believe that I didn’t have a plan to fill out the 6 Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays left over after covering the 7 Paranormal Activity movies… The Exorcist and it’s 5(ish) sequels fit right into Paranormal Octoberty! Both franchises are about demons preying on humanity, but take different journeys on how that manifests. Plus it gives me a chance to review both a horror classic–this one–and also what a number of people argue is one of the worst horror movies ever made–Exorcist II: The Heretic. Is that really how I’m going to honor the recent death…
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Paranormal Activity (2009)
Happy Halloween… month! It’s that time of year where the evils of living in a world where skeletons and pumpkins aren’t common decorations are exorcized from my body and I go from a shriveled, cobweb-covered husk of a man to a halfway functioning person; think King Theoden in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Anyway, it’s time for my annual horror event, and this year it’s Paranormal Octoberty, highlighting a month of ghosts and/or demonic possession. What, you thought I’d review something more mainstream like Halloween? Oh, you sweet summer child, why would I review that franchise in October?…
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Slay (2024)
I’ve been real bad about keeping up with this blog, I know, I know… Blah blah busy at work blah blah excuses blah. But I wanted to at least get one entry in before Pride Month was over, and oh man did Tubi deliver a queer horror film. I don’t really do anything ironically any more so I’m completely sincere when I say it’s my favorite streaming site, full of good movies, hidden gems, and some of the best garbage to shove in my face.
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X-Men ’97 – Season 1, Episode 10
Previously, on X-Men! How have I seriously done the entirety of X-Men ’97’s first season and never once made that joke? I’m slipping, y’all… Anyway, Magneto has doomed the Earth in retaliation for Genosha! An attempt to force him to undo his damage led to Wolverine having the adamantium ripped out of his body! Meanwhile, Bastion and Mister Sinister are a deadly duo the X-Men can’t seem to beat! Is this the end of the X-Men? No. What? Of course not. Why would you…? Anyway, let’s wrap up “Tolerance is Extinction” and the show’s first season. It’s a doozy.
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X-Men ’97 – Season 1, Episode 9
The penultimate episode of X-Men ’97 is right smack dab in the middle of the three-part finale, “Tolerance is Extinction.” When last we left our merry band of mutants, Magneto had blanketed the world in an electromagnetic pulse with the aftermath yet to be seen. Things are only gonna get more intense from here, so let’s jump right in.
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X-Men ’97 – Season 1, Episode 8
We’re in the final stretch now. Episodes 8 through 10 of X-Men ’97 are called “Tolerance is Extinction” parts one through three, a big and elaborate season finale. Will the X-Men triumph against Bastion and Mister Sinister? Possibly! Are there more surprises waiting for viewers? Yes. Oh my yes. And hey! Professor X is back in the opening credits! I bet he’ll show up at some point!
Chwineka Watches
The dead speak!
Chwineka Watches 