Category: 1.5 stars
Exasperated sigh and eyeroll.
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The Curse of King Tut, Part 2 (2006)
Man, I hope when this aired on the Hallmark Channel that they included a “previously on” montage, because the version I watched jumps right into the second half with no explanation. It might as well have been a commercial break instead of “to be continued” and credits. Who knows, maybe it was shown like that. I don’t care enough to look it up. Casper Van Dien has already taken up enough of my time.
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The Curse of King Tut, Part 1 (2006)
Oh my god, why is this movie 3 hours long?? It’s a Hallmark original movie, for fuck’s sake! I refuse to sit though all of this in one sitting, so just like Hallmark Channel did, I’m breaking this up into two parts. Because all the best movies–and reviews–end with “to be continued.”
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The All New Adventures of Laurel & Hardy in “For Love or Mummy” (1999)
Growing up, my grandfather loved Laurel and Hardy. He watched their shorts and movies all the time and even had a framed letter written by Stan Laurel. And Grandpa Bud would make us watch Laurel and Hardy with him most visits, so while I’m no expert, I do know about the comedy duo. And with that knowledge I can say that my grandfather would probably hate this.
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Fantasy Island (2020)
There is criminal activity going on in my local theaters this year and I’m getting fed up with it. It started with Color Out of Space, which got a one day screening all over my city and then disappeared except for a single showing at night in Seattle. Next was The Lodge, which never even reached anywhere close to me. I guess they technically count as “indie movies,” but they were horror movies I was excited to see and they disappeared before I got a chance!
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Phoenix Forgotten (2017)
I’ve watched a fair amount of movies. I’d even go as far as to say “a lot.” Every week my friends and I gather and watch three (or so) as part of our Movie Night, I’ve been hitting up my local theater every week to see more current movies, and then I’ll sometimes watch something on Netflix in my free time. That adds up over the weeks, months, and years (Movie Night is over a decade old). So when I say that I’ve seen Phoenix Forgotten before, I don’t mean that literally, but instead that it reminds me of three…
Chwineka Watches 