Category: 2.0 stars
This could’ve been salvaged, maybe.
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Frankenstein vs. the Mummy (2015)
Mummy Mondays are on pause for at least a week due to coronavirus quarantine (we are in the darkest timeline), but to keep the mood alive I’m going to be watching The Mummy adjacent movies! This week it’s Frankenstein vs. the Mummy, a film that was way too long for what it was.
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Scooby-Doo! and WWE: Curse of the Speed Demon (2016)
I don’t think it’s a controversial opinion to say that this movie is not as good as Scooby-Doo! Wrestlemania Mystery, the previous Scooby-Doo/WWE crossover. That movie stars more noteworthy wrestlers and features actual wrestling! But John Cena is a major character in Wrestlemania Mystery and I hate him so very much, so I own Curse of the Speed Demon instead. All because John Cena sucks.
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Brahms: The Boy II (2020)
Do I get my “horror movie fan” card revoked if I say that I didn’t hate this movie? As of writing this, Brahms: The Boy II sits at 10% on Rotten Tomatoes, tied with Fantasy Island (which I hated a lot). Granted, Rotten Tomatoes is not the best site to rely on, but still… I don’t think this movie was THAT bad.
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The Muppets’ Wizard of Oz (2005)
Full disclosure, this wasn’t the movie I planned on posting today. Not too long ago I had picked up a copy of The Devil’s Rain, a 1975 cult movie starring William Shatner minus his eyes, Ernest Borgnine as a goatman, and was the film debut of one Mr. John Travolta. And it was… fine. The effects were nice and the story was kind of lame, but cult movies aren’t generally known for being conventionally good. After watching it at Movie Night I was preparing myself to write up a review, but… I just couldn’t. There was another movie that we…
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Dolittle (2020)
Children’s movies are a strange beast to talk about, mainly because the people doing the talking are not the target audience. If you call such a movie “simple” or “juvenile,” well… that’s kind of the point, isn’t it? Anyway, Doolittle is certainly not the worst kid’s movie I’ve ever seen–I’m sure a good number of kids had fun watching this–but it’s not going to be all that enjoyable for adults.
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Evilspeak (1981)
Man, for an early ’80’s horror movie, I honestly expected more. It’s not super campy, not violent or sexual to an almost cartoonish degree, and it’s just… fine. It’s fine. Everyone in it was fine.
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Doctor Mordrid (1992)
Once upon a time, this almost was a live-action Doctor Strange movie. Not the first, that distinction goes to the made-for-TV 1978 version staring a Mr. Peter Hooten and his pornstache. But the licensing fell through and enough details were changed so that Charles Band could be credited as “based on an original idea by.” Sure, why not.
Chwineka Watches 