Feast II: Sloppy Seconds (2008)

CONTENT WARNING: GROSS OUT HUMOR AND A GENERAL DISRESPECT TOWARDS ITS WOMEN CHARACTERS

A good sequel ups the stakes of the original. If it has the same threat and energy level, then it’s more of the same and begs the question, what’s the point? Feast II: Sloppy Seconds takes the chaotic energy of Feast and absolutely raises it through more monsters, more bloodshed, and more dark comedy of questionable taste. This one has a bit more of a focus on story and characters than the previous one–although just barely–so a kill count would miss some… subtlety. Back to the regular review format, I guess!

We open on Biker Queen, the twin sister of Harley Mom, killing a dog. She finds Bartender alive, somehow, and he tells her that Bozo was responsible for her sister’s death (even though there’s no way he should’ve know that she was alive when she got blown up). She swears vengeance and we cut to a day earlier, seeing that the monsters had attacked a small town nearby and setting up some of our new characters. When Biker Queen and her gang–including members named Tit Girl and Tat Girl–show up, they collect most of the survivors because it’s easier on the writers to have most of the characters together. Not included in the pow wow are a Hobo holed up in the jail–the safest spot in town–and Honey Pie, who Bartender beats the ever-loving fuck out of. Gross out comedy ensues leading to the abuela of the Mexican wrestling little people getting dissolved in monster vomit, Honey Pie has to fight off a mini monster made by one of the creatures raping a cat, and a guy named Greg throwing a human baby on the ground to save his own skin. The movie ends on a cliffhanger with the group’s attempts to get into the jail mostly having failed, Honey Pie left for dead (she gets better), and the rest of the survivors on a roof fighting off the monsters that figured out how stairs work.

This movie makes me feel old. I think I saw this for the first time a full decade ago, and at the time I thought it was funny enough that I included the entire Feast trilogy on a “10 Films You Need to Watch to Understand Movie Night” list. But now… not so much. Yes, tastes change as we grow, but the me I am today just doesn’t find a fart joke, immediately followed by a projectile vomit joke, immediately followed by a shit joke, then immediately followed by 30 seconds of monster cum to be all that funny anymore. The fact that all that happened predominantly to women certainly doesn’t help and made me start to question the movie as a whole. This movie just feels mean. Like sure, not everything bad happens to women–Greg gets a metal pipe through his head and somehow survives–but the beating of Honey Pie is just… a lot. Tit Girl and Tat Girl lose their clothes to make a catapult and Secrets’ entire character is summed up as “airhead cheater.”

It just feels like the whole movie doesn’t drink Respect Women juice. But that’s just my opinion. I mean, it’s not like there was an interview with director Mr. John Gulager where he said that in the original script, the majority of the all-women biker gang would be stripped early on and then spent the rest of the movie naked and fending off monster rape, and the only reason they didn’t go through with this was because the town they filmed in was so nice that they thought it would upset people. Can you imagine what kind of sick world we would live in if that were true? Now excuse me as I look directly at the camera with a deadpan expression for no reason in particular.


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2 thoughts on “Feast II: Sloppy Seconds (2008)

  1. Pingback: Children of the Corn: Runaway (2018) | Chwineka Watches

  2. Pingback: Feast III: The Happy Finish (2009) | Chwineka Watches

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