Going through all these Children of the Corn movies for October of the Corn, we see that the movies so far have covered a lot of ground (or, as much ground as you can cover when the main focus is a creepy kid cult). We’ve had the cult be active in the modern day and also a relic of years past. We’ve had the setting be a corn field and also urban Chicago. We’ve had the cult led by children, and also an adult who happened to have once been one of those kid leaders. And now we come to Children of the Corn: Revelation, a movie about the ghosts of the cult haunting… an apartment complex. Man, moments like this really hammer home that this is no one’s favorite franchise.
A woman named Jamie (huh, this is the fourth movie in a row where the lead protagonist is a single woman) visits a decrepit apartment complex where her grandmother was living before she disappeared. In addition to the… interesting residents of the building, she also encounters the prerequisite creepy children. As the kids start picking off residents one by one, Jamie and Detective Dreamy–okay, fine, his name is Mr. FirstNameUnknown Armbrister–find out that Jamie’s grandmother was once part of the child cult and was the only survivor when they immolated themselves. We get some exposition from a priest (Mr. Michael Ironside slumming it) who explains that this is indeed tied to He Who Walks Behind the Rows. See, was that so hard to do, Children of the Corn: The Gathering? Anyway, with everyone else dead, Jamie is rescued by Armbrister as the building explodes, supposedly ending the threat of ghostly children.
People tend to die in horror movies. A lot of movies go the route of making their characters as unlikable as humanly possible so that we feel a bit of catharsis when they die; for this movie that’d be the nameless wheelchair-bound guy who screams obscenities at everyone (why yes he does have an American flag on his chair, how could you tell). Others are killed because horror movies can act like morality plays; that’d be Jerry, the useless stoner building manager who… he’s definitely wearing red contact lenses, right? And then there are the people who don’t deserve to die. Tiffany (Crystal Lowe) was a stripper (morality play), but the nicest person in this by a mile. The first time Movie Night watched this, we all were a little upset when it was clear that she was about to die. And die naked, no less! Justice for Tiffany, who deserved better than this! Too bad she followed the 7th Children of the Corn movie with Final Destination 3, Scary Movie 4, and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Woof. At least she had a recurring gig on the Signed, Sealed, Delivered TV show and its 11 made-for-TV sequel movies. Hm… I’m making a note of that.
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