Saw VI (2009)

Man, whoever would’ve guessed the sixth entry of a franchise where the main character died in the third movie would be lackluster? Saw VI continues beating a dead horse with rising stakes that aren’t engaging, some heavy handed–and bad–takes on morality, and continuing to idolize a fucking hypocrite. Having a lot of fun over here with Saw-mhain, for sure!

Let me start with the morality. Horror movies are infamous for a lot of things, and one recurring element is they act as a sort of “morality play.” Those teenagers just had sex? Well, time for them to die, because only whores have premarital sex! Hyperbolic, sure, but if you’ve watched even a medium amount of horror films you’ve seen this in action. Case in point, Saw VI opens with two people in a trap. They have to cut off parts of their body, and whoever lops off the most survives. Who dies? Without any additional details on the people, it’s 50/50. But what if I said one was a woman and one was a man? Still pretty 50/50, maybe 60/40 against the woman since horror loves to brutalize women. What about when it’s a black woman and a large, white man? Oh, the dude’s totally dying, no question! Modern movies generally try to avoid the “black character dies first” trope, but, you know… he’s fat. And being fat is negatively viewed in society, so he has to die. And they’re both predatory lenders, so it’s not like we care what happens to them! It’s just lazy, and we open with that.

Okay, so the actual plot. Detective Hoffman is triumphant with Agent Strahm both dead and framed as Jigsaw’s accomplice. Except it’s not over as Special Agent Erickson (Mr. Mark Rolston)–who was forgettably in the last movie as Strahm’s boss–reveals that Agent Perez is alive! They never actually said she died in Saw IV or Saw V, just heavily implied it, tricking Strahm and Hoffman. The FBI is noticing details in recent Jigsaw killings that tie back to the death of the guy who killed Hoffman’s sister, suggesting someone else–supposedly believed to be Strahm–was active long before now. But Erickson and Perez really seem to act like they know it’s actually Hoffman framing Strahm, but it doesn’t matter because once the evidence comes out the detective kills them both and destroys the evidence. Then he rushes back to this movie’s main trap.

While John Kramer was alive, he was turned down for insurance to pay for an experimental treatment (we’ll kind of come back to that when we get to Saw X) by William (Peter Outerbridge), an insurance executive. The movie goes out of its way to not only remind us that insurance people are evil, but that William is especially good at denying coverage. He’s put through a series of tests where he has control over who lives and who dies. And to the man’s credit, he does try to save people while putting his wellbeing in danger. And in the end he’s reunited with his wife and son… NOT! The pair we assumed were his family were actually the wife and son of a man William denied coverage to, and who later killed himself. The mom can’t bring herself to kill William, but her son sure can. The insurance executive has his body pierced with spikes that inject hydrofluoric acid into his body, melting it from within. Good thing he works in insurance and we don’t care that he’s an actual human being, I guess. Not like that’s a statement this movie goes out of its way to make!

Back with Hoffman, the corrupt cop thinks he’s in the clear when he’s ambushed by… Jill! She’s a character! Who actually is involved with the plot this time, since it’s confirmed that she knew about John Kramer’s Jigsaw identity from just about the beginning. She got a box containing John’s last will and testament last movie, and this time we find out it’s six envelopes–five for the people in the main trap, the sixth being Hoffman–and another reverse bear trap. Remember the letter Amanda read in Saw III that made her sad, and was so pointless at the time that I didn’t mention it? No? Well, while it’s left a little vague whether John knew this or not, but Hoffman and Amanda’s rivalry brewed over into Hoffman blackmailing her into killing Lynn or else he’d tell Kramer that Amanda was with Cecil the night when the addict caused Jill’s miscarriage, as seen in Saw IV. You follow all that? Anyway, Jill leaves Hoffman to die, but he manages to break out of the trap strapped to his head, losing a decent chunk of his face in the process. To be concluded.

The line that really–wait, what? There’s a post credit scene?! I literally had to look up if I had missed other ones but this is just a DVD exclusive, flashing back to Amanda telling Corbett–the daughter of Jeff and Lynn–not to trust Hoffman. Wait, that was her name? That’s… a choice. Anyway, we never see or think of her again, so this was pretty pointless.

So anyway, the line that really stuck with me was during a flashback where we see Hoffman handling the kid from Saw IV who accidentally killed Lynn and Jeff’s son. The cop is rough with his unconscious body, leading Kramer to say, “He’s a human being.” You. MOTHER. FUCKER! How fucking dare you?! Oh, but Jigsaw didn’t actually kill–BULLSHIT! You put people into killer traps, fully knowing that the vast majority are going to die, usually for petty reasons! John Kramer’s hands are covered in blood! He is a huge fucking hypocrite with a God complex, and these movies never truly call him out on it. He is, arguably, a criminal mastermind, but also a fucked up person with very little charisma. I don’t understand how he keeps getting people to continue his twisted little games.

I’m mad, y’all. And somehow, after everything this franchise has been through, Saw 3D is worse!

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Next: Saw 3D (2010)