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Tell Tale (2009)
I want to say that I found this movie by looking up superhero movies. Tell Tale is a film written by Mr. Dave Callaham, who is credited as the writer on Wonder Woman 1984, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, and the upcoming Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 2. Hell, Callaham also wrote 2021’s Mortal Kombat and all four The Expendables movies–no, you’re not having a stroke, the fourth one hasn’t come out yet. Or that I found it looking up movies based on Edgar Allan Poe stories. All those are things I would talk about here, so it…
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Against the Dark (2009)
Have you ever read a movie’s summary or watched a trailer and though, “Oh, this is going to be awful”? I get that feeling a lot–most recently I’m looking at you, Joe Bell. In this particular case, picture this: Mr. Steven Seagal well past his prime, wielding a katana, fighting vampires. That sounds awful! Amazingly awful! Add in a director known for Donnie Darko (as the camera operator) and a writer who never wrote any other full length films and you have a recipe for disaster. Steven Seagal is… Against the Dark!
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What If…? – Season 1, Episode 4
I know I said that last week’s episode, “What If the World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes?” was my new favorite episode of What If…?, but that’s no longer the case. “What If Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?” continues the series’ fine tradition of clunky episode titles, but it delivers a compelling tale of love and loss that also actually involves the Watcher! You know, the omniscient narrator of the whole thing? He gets to actually do something! Kind of.
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Beethoven’s Treasure Tail (2014)
And now the end is near and so I face my final curtain. We’ve reached the 8th and final–as of time of writing–Beethoven movie. We started with one family, shifted to their cousins in Beethoven’s 3rd, swapped over to a different cousin in Beethoven’s 5th, rebooted the entire franchise in Beethoven’s Big Break, and had a pointless Christmas side story of dubious canonicity in Beethoven’s Christmas Adventure. Does this overly long franchise end on a bang instead of a whimper? Why would you ever seriously ask that question. Of course it doesn’t.
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Beethoven’s Christmas Adventure (2011)
I think this little game has gone on long enough, don’t you? Since I started reviewing all the Beethoven movies, I’ve been playing coy with how many films are actually in the franchise. For those keeping track this is the 7th film so far, and I’m happy to announce that this is the penultimate one. Yup, Beethoven’s Treasure Tail is the 8th and final movie–as of time of writing–so we’re so close to being done! I’m almost free from this self-imposed prison of having to rewatch these films! We just have to get through the one that decided it was…
Chwineka Watches
The dead speak!
Chwineka Watches 