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Plankton (1994)
So there’s a sub-genre of movies–mostly horror–that are fascinating to me in how niche they are: they have an Italian director, usually with American/English actors, and all the filmed audio is thrown out the window in favor of re-recording it in the studio later. Why do this? Some say that because the film will have to be re-dubed into foreign languages anyway, why not, but it’s still… jarring. This movie is jarring and weird.
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The Night of Counting the Years (1969)
AKA The Mummy, AKA Al-Mummia, which I take some issue with since that’s not what pops out when you put “The Mummy” into Google translate. But what do I know? I haven’t tried out Arabic on Duolingo. Anyway, this is supposed to be one of the best movies that Egypt has produced. Bit of a high bar, but I will say that despite sometimes moving at a glacial pace, this was remarkably enjoyable. Depressing as all hell, but still.
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Legends of the Hidden Temple (2016)
I remember watching the Legends of the Hidden Temple TV show when I was a kid. If you don’t know what that is, that just reminds me that I’m an old on the internet. Anyway, it was a adventure game show on Nickelodeon back in the 1990’s where teams of kids would attempt challenges, and if successful they would enter the Hidden Temple and try to get an artifact out before the hidden guards would pop out, scare the shit out of them (and probably a good number of kids watching), and end their run. And because nothing is sacred,…
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Girl on the Third Floor (2019)
I don’t actively seek out movies starring wrestlers, I swear. But who could say no to a horror movie starring Mr. CM Punk? Sure, he had left WWE by the time I started watching, but I’m always curious how wrestlers are outside of the ring, especially since they’re molded to be actors/performers.
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Cats (2019)
Everything that needs to be said about Tom Hooper’s Cats has already been said, but that’s not going to stop me from adding my own two cents, pointing out some things I haven’t seen other people talk to death. The plot of Cats is… notoriously thin. Cats appear, sing about themselves, get kidnapped by Mr. Idris Elba, and at the end Ms. Jennifer Hudson is chosen to be reincarnated by the leader of the death cult. A tale as old as time, really. The movie adds some new elements, but I’m not all that familiar with the stage musical so…
Chwineka Watches
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Chwineka Watches 