Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021)

As I said on Friday, I wanted to watch the original, theatrical version of Justice League before I dove into Mr. Zack Snyder's Justice League so I could better compare and contrast. I made some predictions of what I thought would get cut--I was pretty much absolutely right--and what the new film would look like. Now, having watched it I can definitely say that this is the most Zack Snyder movie Zack Snyder has ever made, and that it is better than the theatrical version. The rest? Well...

Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

MCU March is still going strong! With Avengers: Age of Ultron we're just about at the halfway point of the franchise (thus far) and the end of Phase 2. I say "just about" because the actual mid-point (thus far) AND the actual end of Phase 2 both happen to be Ant-Man, but we'll get to that tomorrow. Today we watch Tony Stark continue to make the worst decisions possible!

Suburban Gothic (2014)

As promised in the Excision post, today we're talking about Suburban Gothic. Outside of Excision I have not actually seen anything featuring Mr. Matthew Gray Gubler. I didn't get into Criminal Minds and the Alvin and the Chipmunks quadrilogy is reserved for a week when I just want to suffer. But I knew of him through memes, so I was excited to watch this. Add in Kat Dennings--now featured in WandaVision which I talk about the day after each new episode--and we have a recipe for a good time! It's just a shame, then, that the movie was... fine. It's fine. It was okay.

The Lighthouse (2016)

Today's film is... wait a second... The Lighthouse? Didn't I already cover that in October? This must be a different movie with the same title, then. Lemme read the description: "Two men fight for their lives and their sanity when they're trapped in a remote lighthouse for months while a freak storm rages and tragedy strikes." Huh. That, uh... That sure does sound like The Lighthouse. But this came out a few years before and stars no names I recognize--the two leads here were in Star Wars VIII: The Last Jedi as "Captain Whose Seige Dreadnought Gets Bombed at the Start" and "Shuttle Pilot Who Looks Worried when Kylo Ren Demands More." So, uh... I guess we should see how this movie differs from the one you've actually heard of.

Santa’s Little Helper (2015)

Once upon a time, my guilty pleasure was watching WWE wrestling (I've previously talked about it in the Scooby-Doo! and WWE: Curse of the Speed Demon post). But even that doesn't fully explain why I bought a physical DVD of a Christmas comedy starring The "The Miz" Miz, AKA Mr. Mike Mizanin, AKA The Miz. He's not my favorite wrestler. He's not even in my top 10! The only lists he tops are "most punchable faces" and "best example of self-absorbed heels!" But this also features Saraya-Jade "Paige" Bevis, one of my favorites. And she's the sinister rival. With hilariously bad elf ears. Okay, I'm back on board with owning this.

Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square (2020)

Full disclosure, I recently kind of forgot that Netflix existed. It's one of my browser shortcuts, for fuck's sake! I've been so focused on the amazing garbage Tubi is constantly offering that new releases people would actually have heard of were slipping me by. Case in point, did you know that Mrs. Dolly Parton had Netflix-original Christmas musical that came out at the end of November? Because I didn't! But I do now, so here we go!

Mr. Right (2015)

I want to get something out of the way before we begin: No, Ian, this is not a sequel to 1996's Mr. Wrong, a film where a still closeted Ms. Ellen DeGeneres has to fend off the stalker Bill Pullman. I see what you did there, but no. What this movie is instead is... weird. Like, at the time of writing I don't have a "quirky" tag for the blog, but after this I'm giving it some seriously consideration.

Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995)

I don't know why I picked up every single Children of the Corn movie. It started years ago when I did Chwineka Watches 31 Netflix Horror Movies for October and all the Corn movies up to that point (minus Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice for some reason) were available for streaming. Then years later I decided to inflict it all on Movie Night, which... well it didn't require me to pick up physical copies, but it helped facilitate watching. And now here I am, watching the whole series for a third time. Which is a long winded way of saying that having seen all the movies, Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest is the best sequel (although that doesn't mean it's good).