We interrupt this program of WandaVision to talk about "We Interrupt This Program," the episode that answers a BUNCH of questions we had after watching the first three episodes, while presenting whole new ones. There's a lot that happened in this half hour, so let's jump right in!
Let's finish off a month of the worst movies ever with a classic. I gotta say, after falling in love with B-movie parodies like The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, I had to keep reminding myself that Plan 9 from Outer Space was absolutely sincere. I mean, assuming the film Ed Wood is to be believed, but that's a key ingredient in making a cult classic. Sincerity in ineptitude is what separates the men from the boys, and Birdemic: Shock and Terror from something like Taintlight.
This was not the movie I intended to talk about today. See, in preparing for a month dedicated to the worst movies ever, I collected a bunch of links to visit later. One was for a movie called Daniel der Zauberer, AKA Daniel the Wizard, the #18 movie (as of writing) on the IMDB Bottom 100 and a film directed by my nemesis, Mr. Ulli Lommel (no I will never shut up about Diary of a Cannibal). It's a German film but it has to have subtitles, right? Well after spending $3 to rent it on Vimeo, turns out it did not have subtitles. And I couldn't find it anywhere else on the internet. Since I was annoyed and didn't want to spend any more money, I scrambled for a replacement. Just about every list talking about the worst movies on Netflix mentioned the Adam Sandler movie The Ridiculous 6, a vague parody of The Magnificent Seven, so that's... a thing we're doing now.
I love my friends, I really do. When I asked around about what people thought was the worst movie they'd ever seen I got some of the usual suspects, but enough of my friends are fucking weirdos like me that I got a few rare cuts as well. One of them was Taintlight, a cheap and ugly parody of Twilight (a movie I have now mentioned on this blog 6 times so I'm now contractually obligated to cover it before the new year is over). How ugly? Well...
Another week means another episode of WandaVision, now in color! That's not just a joke; that's also the title, "Now in Color." The uncomfortable strangeness of the show continues, now with a 1970's The Brady Bunch aesthetic (and a theme song very reminiscent of The Partridge Family). When last we saw our couple, Wanda was suddenly pregnant. Months away from giving birth, right? Well... not quite.
How can I devote a month to some of the worst movies ever and not talk about Birdemic: Shock and Terror? I actually own this film (but it's also available on Tubi because of course it is) and somehow managed to not get around to it during the first year of this blog. But that oversight has now been remedied! Birdemic is infamous for being up there with The Room in terms of completely inept filmmaking. It boldly asks the question, "What if The Birds was mixed with An Inconvenient Truth with the worst CG birds you've ever seen?" It is, for lack of a better word, art.
I am not a very religious man, but when I was younger I read several book in the Left Behind series by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B Jenkins. If you haven't heard of them, they were the story of those suffering through the 7 years of the Great Tribulation. I think I got up to Assassins, the sixth book where the Antichrist gets shot in the head (he gets better), before the HEAVY religious overtones were just too much for me. But they made movie adaptations of the series, so let's dive into another shitty movie starring Mr. Kirk Cameron! Wait... I'm not talking about 2000's Left Behind? Instead I'm talking about the 2014 one starring Nic Cage, where even Christian reviewers thought it was one of the worst movies ever made? I never thought I would ever say this, but I'd rather watch a Kirk Cameron movie. I don't know how to feel about that...
Is there a recognized subgenre of movies called something like "The Room, but X" or am I breaking new ground? Either way, it's been too hetero during this month of some of the worst movies ever made, so let's watch The Room, but gay! Yes, even gay directors can make movies that are so bad and boring that I long for the sweet release of death while suffering through them. Equality!
Happy Saturday! The first two episodes of WandaVision dropped yesterday, so here we are! If you don't know what that is, buckle up! It's a new entry for the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) from Disney+. Sure, there were the Defenders on Netflix and Agents of SHIELD and Agent Carter on actual television, but those shows had minimal (if any) interaction with the films because they were basically run by a separate department. It was a whole thing. But the Disney+ shows not only star characters from the movies, but they--supposedly--will have lasting effects that lead into future movies and/or shows. But that's getting ahead of ourselves.
When I was compiling a list of potential movies for a month full of "the worst ever," there was only one movie that made me shudder every time I remembered it existed. Now, I use a lot of hyperbolic language on this blog, but I need you to understand something: I mean that literally. Every time I thought about Ms. Paris Hilton's The Hottie & the Nottie, I physically shuddered. Out of ALL the movies I gathered links to, this was the one I dreaded the most. But here we are, for better or worse.