Pet Graveyard (2019)

I'd like to make a retraction: In my Doctor Mordrid review (my second review ever on this site) I said that Pet Graveyard was a movie from The Asylum. It turns out that it's actually from Uncork'd Entertainment, which is similar in that both companies make bad movies, but Uncork'd seems to have less production value than the Asylum. So with that damning statement, let's tackle another entry from my "movies I have referenced" list!

ThanksKilling 3 (2012)

Have you ever watched something so bad and/or dumb that you can actually feel your brain cells killing themselves so they don't have to retain anything from it? A movie so awful you walk away a dumber person? WELL ON THAT NOTE, let me try to talk about ThanksKilling 3 without screaming too much!

ThanksKilling (2008)

It took me nearly a year, but I actually looked at the calendar before deciding what movie to watch! In honor of [American] Thanksgiving happening tomorrow, I'm going to enjoy a lovely time with all of my family members. Just kidding! I haven't seen my grandma since February! Instead we're going to talk about ThanksKilling, a low budget film about a group of young adults who get killed off by a turkey. Named Turkie. It's exactly the kind of movie you think it is.

The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp (1943)

One potentially bad habit of mine when writing these posts is referencing a different movie. A lot of the time it's a film I've already talked about, but there are also a bunch of times where it's something I haven't made a post for. I keep all the references on a list and it currently sits at 272 movies and TV shows. Holy fuck! So let's work through that backlog, but in a random way! I'm going to roll the digital equivalent of a 272-sided die and that's going to be what we're talking about today. As of writing this sentence, I don't even know what it'll be! So let's roll and... #149! The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp, as mentioned in the Viktor und Viktoria post! So let's talk about this nearly 3 hour movie in the Criteron Collection.

A Windigo Tale (2010)

I like movie monsters. Give me some nasty motherfucker with too many teeth and eyes that pierce into your soul and I'm a happy individual. One of my favorite monsters is the wendigo, an Ojibway evil spirit that pop culture has taken and claimed as it's own (seriously, they even show up in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic). But none of that really matters, because there is no wendigo in A Windigo Tale. There is a horrible monster that devoured the young members of their tribe, but it's more... metaphorical.

The New Mutants (2020)

Full disclosure, I was one of those people who believed that this movie was never going to be released. Originally slated to be released in April 2018, it was delayed four or five times because of things like the Fox/Disney merger and reshoots to change the entire tone. Like you do. In the end it released to an extremely limited theater run in August 2020, and was made widely available for [legal] streaming yesterday. As the last 20th Century Studios X-Men adjacent film--ending a 20 year franchise--was it worth the wait? Well...

The Gay Deceivers (1969)

A game I like to play with my friends is "Actually, You Do Know What This Is." It's where I show someone a the full context of a meme's origin. For example, odds are you don't know Sunstroke Project or Sergey Stepanov by name, but he's the internet's favorite Epic Sax Guy (the song is called "Run Away," by the way, and it slaps). The reason I bring this up is because The Gay Deceivers is a completely forgettable movie except for the only decent actor giving an amazing line: "I may not know my flowers, but I know a BITCH when I see one!" Yup, this is that movie.

Big Man on Campus (1989)

There are two wolves inside of me: The first wolf tells me that if I were to talk about more mainstream and/or recognizable movies, viewer count and interest in in this blog would improve. The other wolf says, "Hey, wasn't it weird that the female lead in Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror was in basically nothing? Well turns out her film debut was in a thing called Big Man on Campus where a hunchback goes to college. That sounds weird!" I think by this point we know which wolf I feed, even to my detriment.

Mr. Right (2015)

I want to get something out of the way before we begin: No, Ian, this is not a sequel to 1996's Mr. Wrong, a film where a still closeted Ms. Ellen DeGeneres has to fend off the stalker Bill Pullman. I see what you did there, but no. What this movie is instead is... weird. Like, at the time of writing I don't have a "quirky" tag for the blog, but after this I'm giving it some seriously consideration.