I see what this movie was trying to do with "666" instead of "Part VI," but... why? 666 is traditionally regarded as the number of The Beast, but that's from the Book of Revelation (remember, it's singular, not plural). So it's very Christian... and while the child cult of He Who Walks Behind the Rows has performative Christian aspects, it's definitely not the same religion. So having "666" in the title makes no sense!
Welcome back to October of the Corn! Today we're diving into Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror. That's right, we're back to numbered sequels that actually feel like they were written with the franchise in mind. What's really interesting about this one is that it feels like an attempt was made to make an enjoyable movie. It didn't really work, but kudos for the effort!
I love The Blair Witch Project. It's one of my favorite films (that I weirdly don't own), but it's by no means a perfect movie. Writers/directors Mr. Eduardo Sánchez and Daniel Myrick got amazing performances out of the small cast but through some rough means. And its financial success (under half $1 million budget against a $248.6 million box office) convinced every jackass with half an idea and a home movie camera that they too could make a found footage movie. But with those quibbles out of the way, now is my time to gush.
Welcome back to October of the Corn! Today we're talking about Children of the Corn: The Gathering (the "IV" on the poster and generally accepted title doesn't appear in the movie), the most forgettable one in the entire franchise. Pretty impressive, right? Fields of Terror has the kid who looks like an Oriental shorthair cat; Isaac's Return has the return of Isaac (naturally); Revelation has the weird hotel; Genesis is the one in California without any corn; and the reboot and Runaway are dumb but have at least one or two things about them that I remember. I mean, fuck, this is the one that has the sex offender from Glee and even that didn't leave any sort of lasting impact on my brain! Don't worry, I'm not spending any more time on him.
When a friend told me about Triggered, I was confused why she was drawing my attention to a film about kids in the woods with bombs around their necks. But that's 2020's Triggered; 2019's Triggered is about a social justice warrior murdering people. That made a bit more sense given my tendency to watch the worst movies. But maybe this was a parody made in good faith? Maybe the message isn't just, "she's a deranged person who's doing all this for attention." But then I saw it, and unfortunately that's absolutely the message. Well fuck me, I guess.
I don't know why I picked up every single Children of the Corn movie. It started years ago when I did Chwineka Watches 31 Netflix Horror Movies for October and all the Corn movies up to that point (minus Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice for some reason) were available for streaming. Then years later I decided to inflict it all on Movie Night, which... well it didn't require me to pick up physical copies, but it helped facilitate watching. And now here I am, watching the whole series for a third time. Which is a long winded way of saying that having seen all the movies, Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest is the best sequel (although that doesn't mean it's good).
October of the Corn continues with Children of the Corn II: The Final Sacrifice, which is obviously not the final movie. It was a bad idea to use that word for Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter--the fourth film out of 10 (before reboots)--and it was a bad idea here. Sure, Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest came out 3 years after this, but you had to know that creating a sequel 8 years after the original was going to open the door to countless sequels. Well, it's 7 sequels, a reboot, a sequel to that reboot, and a supposed preboot coming out next year... But still! Wait, where was I? The Final Sacrifice, right!
I count myself lucky that my family isn't too crazy. Sure, we have members like "the one who's always drunk," but things could definitely be worse. Like, oh, for example, my mother didn't have dissociative identity disorder and then died in hospice care, my father didn't die from self-inflicted starvation, and my (nonexistent) brother didn't suffer from schizophrenia before hanging himself! Oh, and I also don't have a tense relationship with my (also nonexistent) children because one time I almost burned them alive while sleepwalking. Man, wouldn't it suck to have that kind of baggage!
Welcome to October of the Corn! That's right, the same guy who skipped the X-Men: First Class movies because he was sick of franchises is jumping straight into another one right after Mummy Mondays ended. I have to do something productive with all these DVDs that I own, right? So suffer with me, because for the next 10 Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays (with one exception late in the month), we're going to talk about no one's favorite horror franchise. Fun!
Have you ever seen the music video for "Fantasy" by DyE? If you haven't, here's a link. He's a French electropop artist and the song is pretty good! But the main reason I want you to see it is because it has a twist. A very... Lovecraftian twist. What starts out seemingly normal night suddenly becomes a nightmare involving realities beyond mortal comprehension. And I bring this up because that's basically the plot of The Void, too.