Batman: Hush (2019)

In the Batman: Under the Red Hood review I touched briefly on the Hush storyline. This movie is an adaptation of that story, but minus any trace of Jason Todd. And while Under the Red Hood was a pretty faithful adaptation, Hush decides to make some big changes at the end, and they are... a bit of a mixed bag.

Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010)

I'm not entirely sure why I love Jason Todd, AKA the Red Hood so much. I was too young to remember when he died and only really knew of him through the (now dated) idea, "No one stays dead in comics except Bucky Barnes, Jason Todd, and Uncle Ben." Well, at least that's still true of Uncle Ben! I mean, discounting alternate reality versions that have popped over to the main Marvel continuity from time to time.

Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)

Let's mix things up a bit. I'm tired of reviewing The Mummy adjacent movies (Casper Van Dien and porn will do that to a person). And some personal information, I've been passing the time painting miniatures while I look out the window and watch society collapse. There's a board game called Batman: Gotham City Chronicles that has a truly ridiculous amount of plastic figures, and painting them up keeps me away from a life of crime. And while I've been painting these heroes and villains, I've been reading a lot of Batman comics. So let's talk about some Batman movies, and let me show off some of the models I've finished that are related to the review at hand. In today's post, very tangentially related.

Dark Light (2019)

This was not a good movie. It’s not one of those incredibly bad movies that wraps back around to “I have to show all my friends,” but it’s also not so boring that I contemplate suicide like an Ulli Lommel movie. It’s more like it had potential, but between bad acting and a premise that falls apart if you actually think about it, it just fails. A solid two out of five film.

Bound (2015)

I have a general policy to never say that a movie featuring Daniel Baldwin is “good.” That also applies to Billy Baldwin, but that’s off topic. Anyway, The Asylum’s special brand of “mockbusters” are typically pretty bad and it’s generally safe to say that they all suck. But every once in a while… there’s one that sucks slightly less than the others.

Plankton (1994)

So there’s a sub-genre of movies–mostly horror–that are fascinating to me in how niche they are: they have an Italian director, usually with American/English actors, and all the filmed audio is thrown out the window in favor of re-recording it in the studio later. Why do this? Some say that because the film will have to be re-dubed into foreign languages anyway, why not, but it’s still… jarring. This movie is jarring and weird.

The Night of Counting the Years (1969)

AKA The Mummy, AKA Al-Mummia, which I take some issue with since that’s not what pops out when you put “The Mummy” into Google translate. But what do I know? I haven’t tried out Arabic on Duolingo. Anyway, this is supposed to be one of the best movies that Egypt has produced. Bit of a high bar, but I will say that despite sometimes moving at a glacial pace, this was remarkably enjoyable. Depressing as all hell, but still.

Legends of the Hidden Temple (2016)

I remember watching the Legends of the Hidden Temple TV show when I was a kid. If you don’t know what that is, that just reminds me that I’m an old on the internet. Anyway, it was a adventure game show on Nickelodeon back in the 1990’s where teams of kids would attempt challenges, and if successful they would enter the Hidden Temple and try to get an artifact out before the hidden guards would pop out, scare the shit out of them (and probably a good number of kids watching), and end their run. And because nothing is sacred, in 2016 it was brought back as a made for TV movie. Apparently the first game show to be turned into a movie! That’s certainly… something.