Housebound (2014)

I should come up with an official policy on how to tag movies with a twist that nullifies another tag. Like, spoilers for The Turning, but should I really have tagged the movie “ghosts” if the ending pretty conclusively says that she was crazy the whole time and there’s nothing supernatural happening? But the ghosts–or at least the concept of ghosts–is pretty crucial to the movie. And since the tags are listed at the top of the page, you might be seeing where I’m going with this.

The All New Adventures of Laurel & Hardy in “For Love or Mummy” (1999)

Growing up, my grandfather loved Laurel and Hardy. He watched their shorts and movies all the time and even had a framed letter written by Stan Laurel. And Grandpa Bud would make us watch Laurel and Hardy with him most visits, so while I’m no expert, I do know about the comedy duo. And with that knowledge I can say that my grandfather would probably hate this.

Ink (2009)

It’s kind of hard to review your favorite movie. When I hate something, oh my god, I have to force myself to stop ranting about it. And with a mix of schadenfreude and impassioned writing those posts are usually pretty fun to read (I have been told). But a movie I love? It’s kinda rough to get the ball rolling…

Detention (2011)

I like describing this movie to people. I tell them about the time-travelling bear that was abducted by aliens, the Freaky Friday switch that also goes across time, a masked serial killer inspired by a lame movie starring “Moscow Hyatt,” a jock infused with fly blood, subdued Dane Cook… “Isn’t there detention in a movie called Detention?” Yeah yeah, I was getting to that.

The Pyramid (2014)

Mummy Mondays are still on hold due to social distancing (we should be back on track next week), so this week I’m talking about The Pyramid, a movie that doesn’t actually have a mummy for the villain. I imagine The Scorpion King franchise is the same way, so it was going to happen at some point. Instead our villain is… Anubus. Like, the actual Egyptian, jackal-headed god of death. Well, that could be cool… TOO BAD IT IS NOT!

The Endless (2017)

From an very, very outside perspective, I can kind of see the appeal of a cult. The world is especially shitty right now, and in my mind I don’t see it getting significantly better any time soon. A little too dark to start this post? Well I just recently got out of COVID-19 quarantine and then went right back to the filthy world of retail. If someone were to come to me and say that following them would make everything better… well, okay, I wouldn’t believe them because that sounds culty as fuck, but I’d be a little bit tempted.

End of the Line (2007)

What is the difference between a cult and a religion? That’s actually a serious question and relevant to this movie. I created the “cults” tag because every so often there’s a movie where cultists try to sacrifice a young girl so that their demon god can enter our world (like you do), but for this movie the “cult” is explicitly Christian. Most likely a subdivision of Christianity, as I was raised Lutheran and don’t remember the pastor passing out dagger crosses and pagers so we could be alerted when the end of the world was happening. But like, are the antagonists technically a cult?